Why Getting One-Word Responses is Annoying

Storytelling is all about perception.

If you want to understand storytelling, understand how perception works.

Perception is not always logical.

It can be highly irrational.

Think about Grant Cardone for a sec.

He’s a motivational speaker, sales coach, and businessman.

I’ve been watching a couple of his past interviews.

He has this habit of insulting someone with a smile on his face.

His eyes get small, and he gives this warm smile as he insults someone.

His smile is so appealing that it makes you forget about his rude message.

This is him showing you that perception is not logical.

You can be mean and come off as nice.

By understanding that perception is not always logical, you will understand why getting one-word responses is annoying.

It Feels Like a Lack of Effort

One person is usually a bit more engaged than the other person on text messages.

Let’s say one person writes one or a few sentences.

And the other person responds with, ‘okay.’

That shows disinterest.

Even if the one-word response was warranted…

Imagine Person A writes:

‘I have been feeling so stressed recently. I’m going to come over to your place at 7 pm today.’

Then Person B writes:

‘Okay.’

Technically, “okay” is a justifiable response in this scenario.

It shows:

• A response was given.
• The invite has been accepted.
• Person B doesn’t have any follow-up questions because Person A stated what time they were coming.

Logically speaking, “okay” is a great response.

Perception-wise, it comes off as rude.

Person A thinks:

• This person just wrote, okay? Don’t they have any desire to keep the conversation going?
• Do they even want me to come over?
• Where’s the enthusiasm?? I just said I’m having a bad day! Why aren’t they showing more emotion?

Even though the “okay” wasn’t meant in a rude way, it still comes off as rude.

Should You Ever Use One-Word Responses?

The more rapport you have with someone, the more okay it is to use one-word responses.

The less rapport you have with someone, the more words you want to use.

When you don’t have rapport with someone, they don’t know your intent.

Therefore, they are evaluating you more based on your actions.

If you guys are mainly communicating via texts, and you are mainly giving them one-word responses, then their intrusive thoughts will win.

They will think you don’t want to hang out with them.

You can make the argument:

‘But giving one-word responses is just who I am! Why should I change myself for others?’

I normally answer that question with the pajamas example.

You wear pajamas at home, right?

‘Right.’

Do you wear pajamas outside?

‘No.’

Why not?

‘Because there is a time and place…’

Likewise, there is a time and place for one-word texts.

When you are comfortable with someone, you can invite them to your place.

You can wear pajamas in front of them.

But in a public setting, it’s smart to dress appropriately.

Similarly, when you are close to someone, you can use one-word messages.

They know that’s just how you communicate via text.

Just avoid writing one-word messages with someone you just met.

2 Word Messages Are the Bare Minimum

Not only do one-word messages come off as rude, but it also shows a lack of desire to know the other person.

If you’re in the talking stage with someone, you shouldn’t be using one-word responses at all.

At a bare minimum, you should be using 2 words.

Right:

Person A: “How’s your day going?”

Person B: “Good, you?”

Wrong:

Person A: “How’s your day going?”

Person B: “Good.”

You should be asking questions back in the beginning.

And you do that by adding, “you?”

Many people are dumber than dummies nowadays.

They are completely oblivious to the fact that giving one-word responses hurts their charm.

Tons of perception points are built via text nowadays.

If you are a poor texter, then you will lose out on tons of opportunities.

Spice things up by using at least 2 words.

The Only Case for One-Word Responses

Thus far, I’ve been talking about using one-word responses with someone you want to talk to.

But let’s say you don’t want to talk to this person.

Then one-word responses are meant to give them a hint.

If you are a non-confrontational person, you may not want to say:

‘I don’t want to talk to you.’

Also, you may be against ghosting.

So, your way of telling them that you’re not interested is by giving 1-word responses.

I’ve seen a lot of girls do this to guys who were sent over as proposals by their parents.

She is not interested in the proposal.

However, if she ghosts him or tells him that she doesn’t want to talk, then her parents will get mad.

So, she gives one-word responses in hopes that he will stop responding.

If someone keeps giving you one-word responses and is not responsive to hanging out in person….

Then they are trying to give you a hint, buddy.

Just move on.

Work On Your Digital Perception

Storytelling is all about influencing the mind.

You don’t want to be so logical that you hurt your likability.

In a logical world, giving one-word responses is fine.

But in an emotional world, it will make people feel a certain type of way.

I recommend that you get in the habit of using at least 2 words if you want to be short.

Avoid one-word responses until you have a lot of rapport with someone.

Rapport allows someone to understand your personality.

When you don’t have rapport though, short responses make people think that you are a jerk.

And if someone has been giving you endless one-word responses and is always “busy” during potential hangouts sessions, then pick up the hint already!!

People are non-confrontational.

They will communicate passively rather than directly.

For more insights into perception building and storytelling, check out the Art & Science of Storytelling Book

✨Ebook

✨Paperback/Kindle

✨Audiobook

– ArmaniTalks