Why Boy Bands Always Break Apart 

Why Boy Bands Always Break Apart

The following post is from Comeback Kid: 101 Short Stories, Essays, and Insights to Improve Communication Skills

I’ve always found it strange that boy bands break up at their prime.

They were on top of the world.

They will surely keep the momentum going, no?

 

Surprisingly, no…

They break up.

 

And they don’t just break up in a civil way.

There is a lot of drama involved.

 

You can replace ‘boy bands’ with any collective group that works together for prolonged periods of time.

It seems like when humans are around each other for too long, drama is bound to ensue.

 

I’ll give you a funny story about this.

 

A while back, I was thinking about joining a fraternity.

Before joining, I remember meeting a cool kid at the recruiting event.

He was the one of the guys who talked me into pledging.

 

 

In the beginning of the pledge process, all was going well.

But around the end of the process, all the pledges had to be in 1 house.

 

During this time of living in 1 house together, that’s when I realized the cool guy wasn’t that cool.

He was a dirty bastard.

 

He had this bad habit of putting his hands in food.

He’d stick his index finger straight into the peanut butter jar, lick the peanut butter off his finger, then stick his finger back in the jar!!

 

Im like:

‘Bro, you just use your finger like that? You can’t use a spoon?’

 

He’s like:

‘What’s the problem, man? I washed my hands.’

 

And I’m like:

‘No, you didn’t! I literally saw you come back from the gym and stick your dirty ass hand in the peanut butter jar!!!’

 

If he was acting this liberal with the peanut butter, I wonder what the hell he was doing with the orange juice.

 

The cool kid suddenly transformed into a very inconsiderate kid in my eyes.

 

It’s like that with a lot of boy bands.

They are in a closed system of a tour bus.

And who knows what sort of quirks each member discovers about each other.

 

Keep them in the system for too long… that’s when tiny issues become gargantuan.

Fights are bound to ensue.

 

One fix I found for this was to introduce the Friendship/Acquaintance dynamic.

This is when you are half friend, half acquaintance.

 

Friend, as in you guys spend tons of hours together.

Maybe due to a joint venture, work project, hosting a show together etc.

But at the same time, there is an acquaintance-like relationship where there are hard boundaries up.

 

2 Types of Boundaries:

  • You guys avoid talking about personal lives: Rule-based boundary.
  • You guys are capable of collaborating despite living in different countries: Space-based boundary.

 

I’ve noticed that groups that fully become friends often implode.

But groups that are pure acquaintances never develop the chemistry to take it to the next level.

 

It appears, the hybrid of the 2 is what allows a working relationship to stand the test of time.

 

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