What Is the Honeymoon Phase of A Relationship?
The honeymoon phase of a relationship is when everything is going well.
This is right when the couple decides to go official.
The positive moments are through the roof.
There is physical touch, funny moments, and fun moments.
The honeymoons stage is not permanent.
It’s temporary.
How long it lasts is completely up to the couple.
I’ve seen honeymoon phases last for a few months.
I’ve seen honeymoon phases last for a few years.
Afterwards, reality kicks in.
A relationship does not only have the ups.
A true relationship has the ups and downs.
The Beauty of The Honeymoon Phase
There is a biologist who doesn’t believe in heaven and hell after we die.
He believes in heaven and hell while we are alive.
He says that you live in hell when you only live to satisfy the ego.
Eventually, you begin to hate your life.
On the flip side, there are glimpses of heaven when our eyes are open.
One example is the honeymoon phase.
This is when we are feeling strong emotions.
Our body and mind are engaged.
There is a relationship glow too.
A relationship glow is when someone looks objectively better after being in a committed loving relationship.
They are more enthusiastic, have a shine to their face, and are easier to get along with.
This is the biologist’s interpretation of heaven on earth!!
Everyone who has experienced a honeymoon phase knows what I’m talking about.
There is an extra pep to their step.
It’s good to enjoy the honeymoon phase while it’s there.
But it’s also important to view the honeymoon phase in its proper context.
Life Comes in Ebbs & Flows
A relationship isn’t always rainbows and butterflies.
Eventually, the relationship comes back to reality.
When the relationship lands in reality, you’ll see the partner for who they truly are.
Soon, one person begins to see things that they were completely blind to before.
- ‘Matt is always late. I thought it was cute before but it’s actually kinda’ annoying.’
- ‘Lacy is always crying about something. I used to like taking care of her, but now she’s beginning to piss me off.’
You can tell the honeymoon phase is ending when the things that you once found cute begin to annoy you.
The honeymoon phase is never permanent.
Eventually, reality kicks in.
After you guys traveled so much together, you 2 begin getting comfortable with each other.
That comfort allows you to see each other for who you truly are.
Other times, it’s not the traveling that ends the honeymoon phase.
It’s moving in together.
Before moving in, you 2 got the commercial versions of each other.
Small snippets.
After moving in, you 2 got the movie versions of each other.
The entire feature length film.
Once reality kicks in, many people think:
‘Whoa, this is not what I signed up for. I made a mistake.’
People pull the trigger too quickly in our generation.
They don’t understand that it takes effort to build great things.
The Relationship is Just Beginning After the Honeymoon Phase
People will end a relationship once the honeymoon phase ends.
They care too much about their own happiness.
But the problem is that you can’t analyze if you’re happy or not if you are viewing it from the wrong time interval.
For example:
Imagine you are going on a road trip with your family.
The trip is set to go from Monday to Thursday.
All of Monday, you guys are lost.
Tuesday, once you get to the campsite, no one knows how to set up a tent.
All of Tuesday is wasted setting up the tent.
You’re hating this trip.
Wednesday, the trip is a blast.
You guys travel, hike, and meet some locals.
Thursday, the trip is even better.
You guys take scenic pictures, talk about life, and create memories.
The trip is over.
If I asked you on Tuesday if the trip was fun, you would say no.
If I asked you on Thursday if the trip was fun, you would say yes.
It was all about the time interval that you evaluated your experiences from.
After the honeymoon phase, the relationship really begins.
That’s when you begin to realize that your partner isn’t a flawless creature that you see in Disney films.
They have their own flaws just like you.
Also, you learn how to go through the ups and downs together…
A roller coaster wouldn’t be fun if it just went straight.
It’s only fun because of the twists and turns.
Reading a story wouldn’t be fun if it only had positive scenes.
It’s only fun because there are positive scenes which balance out the conflicts.
View your relationship like a movie.
The relationship needs the good and the bad to truly be tested.
Once you 2 survive multiple tests, you 2 will become inseparable.
Entering Multiple Honeymoon Phases
Here’s the good news…
You don’t only get one honeymoon phase.
You get multiple.
But the kicker is that you need to be patient.
There is an older couple in my Toastmasters who are in their 80s.
Sue always makes fun of Frank in public.
In private, she can’t help but hype him up.
She said that throughout 60 years of being with Frank, this era is her favorite.
I asked her why.
She said:
‘We are at the stage where we truly know each other. He knows my quirks & I know his quirks. We are each other’s biggest supporters. We tackled life together. We bought our first house together, had kids together, had grand kids and much more. Our relationship is doing a full circle. We are having a honeymoon phase all over again.’
Having multiple honeymoon phases throughout your relationship is a thing.
This time, the honeymoon phase will be a bit different.
You 2 look different.
You 2 are in different stages of your life.
Careers may be different.
There are a whole bunch of differences, but the love will still be the same.
For more insights into emotional intelligence, check out the ArmaniTalks Archives: EQ edition
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