The Role of Gossiping Uncles and Aunties in Community Dynamics
No matter which community you come from, if you go back to your hometown, you’ll find uncles and aunties gossiping about you.
They gossip about each other too.
These individuals operate within a hierarchical structure, using their children’s achievements to justify their own lives.
You’ll often hear them say things like:
- “My child is a doctor.”
- “My child is an astronaut.”
- “My child just started a successful business.”
This is “keeping up with the Joneses” on steroids.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that gossiping uncles and aunties are bad, but they aren’t inherently good or bad…they just exist.
No matter the community, this behavior is a natural part of scaled human interactions.
What Do Uncles and Aunties Gossip About?
Gossip among uncles and aunties primarily revolves around prestige.
Their conversations either elevate their own status or question someone else’s.
Here’s how they achieve that:
- Elevating Prestige:
- They proudly discuss their children’s career accomplishments: “My son just became a doctor!”
- Questioning Others’ Prestige:
- They subtly challenge others with questions like, “Why isn’t your daughter married yet?” In many cultures, being unmarried past a certain age is perceived as a failure, making such questions a direct hit to one’s social standing.
Uncles and aunties typically focus on relationships and careers, but they also thrive on bad news.
If someone in the community gets into trouble…say, their mugshot is posted online…it spreads like wildfire among these gossip circles.
Why Gossiping Uncles and Aunties Keep You Grounded
No matter how successful you become, returning to your hometown humbles you quickly.
These people don’t care about your worldly accomplishments, they still see you as the child they once knew.
This can be frustrating, especially if you had a negative reputation growing up, but it also keeps you connected to your roots.
More importantly, gossiping uncles and aunties introduce perspectives that prevent people from falling into echo chambers.
For example, someone who adopts extreme views after immersing themselves in certain online communities.
They become deeply convinced of their stance because their peers reinforce it.
But when they visit their hometown, the uncles and aunties start questioning their life choices:
- “Boy, you’re 35 years old and still not married? Why not?”
This forces them to confront a different viewpoint.
While uncles and aunties may not always be right, their persistent questioning can provide an alternative perspective that challenges ingrained beliefs.
How to Deal with Gossiping Uncles and Aunties
The best strategy?
- Treat them like a joke.
Not in a disrespectful way, just don’t take them too seriously.
Many young adults, particularly between the ages of 25 and 32, feel tempted to argue back, but this rarely leads to positive outcomes.
Remember, these people view you as a child.
Arguing or, worse, yelling at them only makes your parents look bad.
Instead, consider this approach:
- Don’t take it personally. They project their frustrations onto others.
- Feel a little sorry for them. Many of them feel like they have all the answers now, but life didn’t turn out as they expected.
- Maintain your composure. Respond with humor or polite indifference.
Gossiping uncles and aunties may be annoying, but they serve a purpose.
They keep people connected to their communities, challenge echo-chamber thinking, and maintain traditional social structures.
Rather than resenting them, recognize them as a natural part of family dynamics.
For more tips on social skills, be sure to check out my book, the Charisma King
– ArmaniTalks 
