The Psychology of Bragging
Bragging is when someone is being too boastful.
Every now and then, bragging makes sense.
While other times, it’s flat-out annoying.
‘Wait, there are times when bragging makes sense?’
Yes, I believe so.
And throughout this article, I’m going to explain my logic.
There is a lot of psychology to learn from in bragging.
- Who is the person bragging to?
- What activity elicits such a strong form of expression?
- What is the effect that the braggart is having on others?
Too many topics to cover.
So, without further ado, let’s begin.
Confident vs Cocky
Confident and cocky often get confused with one another.
Outwardly, they may have something in common.
Internally, the 2 are different.
A cocky person wants to be liked by others.
They seek approval.
Therefore, their behaviors are predominantly influenced based on outward acceptance.
While a confident person is well assured in themselves.
Their behaviors are the byproduct of being grounded in certain principles.
Others are free to agree or disagree with the confident person’s behaviors.
Typically, cocky people are more prone to bragging than confident people.
‘Question, Armani. What’s the difference between bragging and self-promotion?’
Great question.
Bragging leads to little to no value once the promotion is complete.
While self-promotion leads to potential value.
Imagine someone with a plumbing business promoting the quality of their service.
This will lead the plumber to make others aware of their plumbing service.
Which leads others to know who to call when they have a plumbing issue.
This leads to potential value down the line.
While bragging about how much you bench-pressed does not lead to much potential value down the line.
It’s more of an ego move.
Thus, with bragging, there is little to no potential value for others.
While with self-promotion, there is potential value for others.
Why People Brag
The reason people brag is because their identity is attached to the activity they are bragging about.
They want to make others aware of their accomplishment.
This isn’t always harmful.
In my opinion, some bragging is perfectly justified.
Imagine someone moved to the states from overseas.
They had few resources in America.
They had to figure out everything for themselves.
So, they gradually learn the language.
Gradually work on getting jobs.
Overcame a lot of rejection.
Works hard in their job.
Builds connections.
Saves up money.
Invests money.
And much more.
Over time, they are what you consider a success.
Every now and then, they go into a bragging spell.
Is this person wrong?
Depends on the interval.
If it’s every other day, then it’s a socially unintelligent move.
But if it’s every other month or every other year, then it’s a human move.
Is this the socially intelligent thing to do?
That’s not what I’m saying…
But remember this, my friend.
- Humans are emotional creatures first, and logical creatures second.
Avoid evaluating them from logic alone.
Instead, view them from the paradigm of being flawed creatures with emotions, desires, narratives, and such.
Further Thoughts on Bragging
Thus far, we have covered a few topics.
We talked about the difference between confident and cocky.
Confidence is when purpose comes from within.
While a cocky person seeks to get acceptance from others.
Cocky people typically brag more because they want to get a pat on the back.
In my opinion, certain bragging is fine.
The accomplishment is so gargantuan that bragging is a human response by a flawed human.
Avoid thinking in:
- Good vs bad.
Rather, ask:
- What’s the context of the scenario?
This brings me to another point.
A socially unintelligent question to ask is:
- ‘Getting a little cocky, aren’t we?’
Especially when the person bragging is someone who rarely brags.
A lot of people are normally quiet with others.
But they open up more to people they trust.
If this person rarely brags, then allow them to.
This particular accomplishment means a lot to them.
What you are perceiving as bragging, they are perceiving as sharing a win to a trusted source.
For example:
Sally is normally soft-spoken.
However, with her recent job promotion, she’s been going on about it for some time.
Assess the context.
Look closer…
Sally was turned away from the company the first 2 times.
She went back to college to level up her credentials.
Came back.
Got the job.
Worked from low-level positions to higher up.
Had a ceiling placed on her due to office politics.
Didn’t give up.
Then eventually sealed the promotion after a few years of work.
She’s bragging from your lens, yes.
But assess the situation for what it is.
Rather than viewing all forms of bragging as bad.
Sometimes, view bragging as a way for someone else to get close to you.
Final Verdict on Bragging
Some people are naturally more reserved.
When they don’t brag, they are not trying to be humble.
Instead, they are just being themselves.
For them, bragging feels difficult.
It’s like they are trying to stick their right foot in their left shoe.
While others are the opposite.
They are very vocal about their wins.
At times, they are too much.
Talking about themselves nonstop.
Constantly bringing attention back to them.
Lacking awareness.
That’s the annoying bragging.
While other times, I think it’s acceptable.
Just avoid overdoing it.
Because overdoing it is what turns socially intelligent people into social dummies.
‘Um…so what’s your final verdict on bragging, Armani?’
It depends on the context, my friend.
‘Ah… such a political answer!’
Ha, I know.
But the world of social skills is very gray.
Hard skills are understood with black-and-white understanding.
While soft skills are understood through gray understanding.
To delve further into social skills and learn psychology in-depth, be sure to check out my book:
In this book, you will learn:
- How to make better small talk.
- Assess people for their intentions.
- Listen better.
- Build a reliable social circle.
- Improve eye contact.
Along with plenty of other cool topics.
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