The Importance of Speaking Skills
Have you ever felt trapped?
Not physically, but mentally & emotionally.
Let’s take it one step further.
Not only did you feel trapped, but you had no clue as to why.
When people asked you what was wrong, you just shrugged your shoulders & said:
‘I can’t quite put my finger on it.’
I’m sure you have.
All of us have had this dark feeling at one point or another.
What was the reason?
It’s because you had difficulty expressing yourself.
It’s a dark feeling when you bottle up words & emotions, not by choice, but because you don’t know of any other way.
This article is going to help you shift your paradigm.
The reason you have not taken the efforts to improve your speaking skills is that you have yet to understand the importance of it.
But you will soon realize that:
Your use of words & communication will not only play a factor in how far you get in life, but your happiness as well.
Let us begin.
The First Stage of Communication
I doubt you can remember your life as a baby, so go on and a picture a baby that you have recently come across.
‘Like that baby who was crying nonstop in my plane ride while I was trying to sleep?’
Yea, that baby.
What did you notice about that baby’s communication skills?
‘Uh.. there wasn’t any. They just cried & shrieked away.’
Why didn’t they say what was bothering them?
‘It’s because they were unable to. They weren’t taught how to speak yet.’
Exactly.
At our core state, we communicate with the body, not the words.
We use our tonality, wave our palms, scrunch up our faces etc.
The reason we do that is to communicate our internal world with the external world.
Picture our ancient ancestors.
Do you think they were communicating with the perfect grammar, sentence structure & complex words?
No.
They were communicating with their body.
Therefore, the first stage of communication is your core state:
Non-verbal communication.
The Next Step of Communication
The next step of communication is not set in stone.
There are 2 paths that people take:
Path 1 is that they never invest in their speaking skills.
Path 2 is that they do invest in their speaking skills.
Let’s zone in on Path 1.
Path 1: Never Invest in Speaking Skills
Were you ever in a social interaction where you found yourself getting irritated by the person across from you?
Either they were talking too much, kept on interrupting or had over stayed their welcome.
So what do you do?
Instead of letting them know what is bothering you with words, you do the opposite.
You TRY to let them know that they are bothering you with your body.
You roll your eyes incessantly, keep checking your watch & readjusting your body.
And you desperately hope that the person picks up on your clues.
‘Well, do they?’
In some cases, yes.
But in most cases, no.
You have to understand that most people are not fluent in body language.
That’s because they were never formally taught the subject.
If you really think about it, humans are barely aware of THEIR own body language, what makes you think that they will be aware of yours?
‘Uh….’
Exactly, they won’t.
This is why staying on Path 1 is very dangerous.
It leads to a lot of misunderstandings & slowly hinders your ability to use words.
Your speaking skills begin to plummet & you go further & further back into stage 1, like the baby on the plane.
The point of maturing is to understand that you need to evolve.
Doing what has worked for you in the past may be convenient, but that does not show growth.
Which is why the importance of speaking skills is highly relevant to your life.
Path 2: Investing in Speaking
This is the graduated version of the baby that simply communicated with their body.
This group still communicates with their body, but they also leverage words.
I’m not going to lie.
Your body plays a 90% role in communicating your message.
It is highly important to be able to leverage your body to connect with someone else’s subconscious mind.
But your words are what allows your ideas, thoughts & feelings to be expressed with the world.
Major key.
The Path 2 group is able to piece together their ideas & get someone to UNDERSTAND them.
That is where the importance of speaking skills is huge.
A lot of people can talk.
But you need to:
Be able to talk in a way where the other person is digesting your words in relation to their ego AND comprehending them.
When someone is not able to comprehend your message, that is your fault.
And the Path 2 group understands this.
This is exactly why speaking is fun for them.
Each speaking opportunity is different & allows them to shape their words in a new way to communicate their message.
They invest in speaking as a lifelong act, not something they take a class on & that’s it.
With this level of investment, the Path 2 group is able to rise among the ranks & share their message with the world.
4 Ways to Improve your Speaking Skills
There are tons of ways to improve your speaking skills.
But we are going to cover a few that will get you on the right track.
By investing in these 4 exercises, you will become a words maestro that can speak with EASE.
1. Fix your Body Language
‘Huh?? Armani, I thought we were talking about verbal language.’
We are.
But understand that your physiology dictates your psychology.
And your psychology dictates your speaking skills.
You will never be an optimal speaker if you hunch, show low energy & mumble your words.
You need to improve your nonverbal communication to improve your speaking skills.
Fix your posture, go to the gym & eat better.
2. Write
Good readers are good writers.
Good writers are good speakers.
The reason why writing is huge is because it allows you to coordinate your thoughts & communicate a structured message.
You’ll be surprised by how many people think they ‘know’ a certain topic.
But when you ask for them to verbally expand on it, they look like a deer staring at the headlights.
Writing warms up your speaking muscles.
It allows you to think clearer, which ultimately makes you a more effective communicator.
Rather than ramble on & on, you will now be more precise with your words.
Invest in journaling & creative writing.
3. Small Talk
Listen, I used to HATE small talk.
What the fuck am I supposed to talk to a stranger about?
But it’s a communications hack to improve your way with words.
If you see the importance of speaking skills, then you must invest in small talk.
Starting a conversation with a stranger is daunting as it is.
But keeping the conversation going is another beast.
The ability to small talk & think on your feet will allow you to express yourself on a MUCH deeper level with others.
If you can talk to strangers without making it awkward, then you can talk to anyone.
4. Public speak
This is a reverse of small talk.
If you can speak to an audience at scale, then you can speak to anyone.
Fascination how it works, right?
You underestimate yourself.
But public speaking will force you to melt your self-doubt.
You get poor communication skills when you are hesitant with your words.
You speak without intent.
Public speaking will change that because now you have an army of eyeballs staring at you.
When that is the case, you are much more mindful of delivering your words with full intent.
You aren’t as hesitant.
But rather, you are delivering your words with purpose & power.
Your confidence on stage will manifest to other parts of your life as well.
You’ll make better eye contact with others, feel more comfortable interacting with strangers & will have emotional resilience.
Join a local toastmasters club & zone in on this skill.
Treat Speaking Skills as a Priority
You will see the importance of speaking skills when you begin treating it like a priority.
Don’t be the group who thinks a proper speech will just be presented to them.
You need to put in the effort & consistency.
Luckily, speaking is a skill set.
It’s something you need to learn about, practice & you will soon master it.
Just because your neural pathways for speaking skills are weak now, does not mean it will be weak later.
Take it one step at a time & keep pushing yourself forward.
Leverage the 4 keys discussed in this article & execute.
When you have the ability to express your thoughts & feelings with ease & grace, you gain a significant power back.
You are able to share your internal world with the external world.
Results? You skyrocket your happiness & attract a strong tribe along the way.
For more practical speaking insights, subscribe to my free daily newsletter.
– ArmaniTalks 🎙️🔥
