The Dangers of Comparing Your Salary with Others

Today’s blog doesn’t even have to be about salary.

It can be about salary, side income, business revenue…whatever.

For the sake of simplicity, let’s use the term salary.

Salary is the amount of money you are paid per year.

That’s the simple definition.

The more complex reality is that we all have 24 hours a day to make decisions.

We allocate our time, drive to areas, and learn specific skills to maximize those 24 hours.

Your salary isn’t just how much you make per year.

Often, it defines who you are.

The Time I Compared Salaries

I remember when making $100K was considered the gold standard.

If you made that, you had “made it.”

I recall when I hit six figures in my career.

When I hit that six-figure mark, I felt like I was floating.

I had landed a job through an enthusiastic recruiter:

“Armani, your pay will be well over six figures.”

I felt like jumping for joy.

When I started the role, I felt even happier.

The job aligned perfectly with my skill set.

The past couple of months had been tough.

I had even asked a friend to help me get a role at his company.

He tried, but unfortunately, it didn’t work out.

Well, after I got my new job, I hit him up:

“Yo bro, got the VP offer here. Thanks for all your help though!”

He was happy for me.

We were both happy for each other.

I was taking this new phase of my life seriously.

So was he.

Then one day, he messaged me out of the blue:

“Yo bro, out of curiosity, how much do you make?”

I told him.

Then I asked, “What about you?”

His number was $10K more than mine.

I was furious.

The Numbers Need Context

I was really mad.

Because I thought I had made it.

The salary I was earning was higher than I thought most people my age could achieve.

And here was this guy.

Making $10K more.

But it was only salary income.

I also made money from ArmaniTalks.

Did he have a side business?

Now, I was getting competitive.

With my ArmaniTalks income plus my salary, I was making more than him.

Then I wondered:

“Why would I only include my salary and not my business income? Ultimately, it’s all income that counts!”

I started going down a rabbit hole of envy.

Despite making more money than ever, I started feeling bitter.

That’s when I realized.

$100K wasn’t a flex anymore.

So many people just throw that number out like it’s nothing.

Everyone I spoke to was making over $100K.

And suddenly, I had a realization:

You’ll never be content when comparing salaries.

Salaries Don’t Always Have Context

Honestly, gross pay means so little that it’s funny.

I remember when I was making over $10K per month in gross pay.

But after taxes, I was only keeping $8K.

Even less if you factor in 401K contributions.

Now, imagine someone living in a state with high taxes.

They keep even less.

So, what are we really comparing?

Despite them making more gross pay, they get taxed more.

And their cost of living is higher.

Most people don’t get that technical when comparing salaries.

They just focus on the number.

But after some initial thought, the details start to matter.

You’ll notice this when someone from New York making $180K says to a Florida guy:

“Me making $180K gets me less than what $130K would get you in Florida.”

The New York guy makes $50K more.

But his quality of life isn’t necessarily better.

I believe comparing salaries and being transparent can be a great motivator.

If you’re far from your goal, seeing what others earn can give you a push.

But when you finally reach your goal, the hidden nuances start creeping in.

Should You Share Your Salary?

For the most part, it’s best not to share your salary.

It has a low return on investment.

If you make too little, people consider you pathetic.

If you make too much, people wonder how it benefits them.

The only people eager to share their salaries are those making a lot.

But even they will eventually meet someone making more.

And often, they’ll hear about it from the same people they were trying to impress.

Imagine Billy trying to impress his wife by sharing how much he makes.

One day, he tells her.

She’s impressed.

Three weeks later, she’s ecstatic.

Her brother just got a new job.

She blurts out how much her brother is making.

It’s a little more than Billy.

Just enough to make Billy think:

“In your face!”

Now Billy is furious.

But why?

Why did she even bring it up?

Because Billy set the tone for it.

And now he has to deal with the consequences.

The only person who should really know how much you make is you.

If your partner needs to know for tax reasons, fine.

But don’t go flexing your salary.

It often comes back to haunt you.

Later, you’ll find yourself thinking:

“Dang, why didn’t I just keep this to myself?”

By then, it’s too late.

People start asking you for handouts.

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– ArmaniTalks