Stoicism & Emotional Intelligence

The following chapter is from the Armani Archives - Soft Skills Edition

Recently, I was chilling with a few of my friends at a bar.

As we were chilling, my friend Ricky bought up a recent lifestyle change that he made.

‘Did he become a vegan?’

No.

‘Did he buy a Tesla?’

No.

‘Did he give up alcohol?’

No dummy, we are at a bar you know.

‘Okay, so what happened?’

Ricky decided to begin practicing Stoicism.

I thought all of us were going to congratulate Ricky for adopting this new way of living.

But no…

Soon as Ricky made his announcement, he began to receive a flurry of ridicule.

The other friends from our group went on to say stuff like:

• ‘So you’re going to be an emotionless robot?’
• ‘Ricky is going to be soo fucking boring now!’
• ‘Stoics lead empty lives.’

The verbal assault continued for a large part of the night.

But I couldn’t make fun of Ricky.

‘Why not?’

Because I could empathize with him.

You probably see me push the emotional intelligence movement a lot on my Twitter page.

Heck, emotional intelligence is one of the core soft skills that my brand covers.

I was able to empathize with Ricky because emotional intelligence gets misinterpreted just like Stoicism does.

Which is why Ricky & I spent the rest of the night changing some perspectives of people that were highly misinformed.

What is the misinterpretation?

With Stoicism, the misinterpretation is that they do not feel any emotion.

With emotional intelligence, the misinterpretation is that they mainly make decisions based off their emotions.

‘I thought those were accurate descriptions?’

Nope!

Truth time

At the end of the day, all humans feel emotions.

Stoicism & Emotional intelligence pushes the same fundamental principle:

Learn to exist with your emotions so you have control over it & are not controlled by it.

This principle goes over so many people’s heads that it’s insane!

But the truth is that making this lifestyle change is a key component to happiness.

Reactive vs Responsive People

Reactive people are the ones who feel emotion, then behave impulsively.

Ex: Someone who gets cut off in traffic, feels angry, then decides to go into road rage mode.

Responsive people are the ones who feel emotion, then behave rationally.

Ex: Someone who gets cut off in traffic, feels angry, but decides to use that anger in the gym rather than go into road rage mode.

For reactive people, their emotions are stronger than their mind.

For responsive people, their mind is stronger than their emotions.

Simple.

Has the truth set you free?

‘Wow! I see what you’re saying now. So Stoicism & Emotional Intelligence pushes people to respond rather than react?’

Exactly!

I have not studied Stoicism in depth yet, but plenty of my friends have adopted that lifestyle.

And a lot of the Stoics I know are fun, calm & socially intelligent.

Very far from the ’emotionless robot’ term that you often hear.

For More Tips to Improve EQ, Checkout the Armani Archives!