Should You Ask Deep Questions in Public?
The following post is from Reborn: 101 Short Stories, Essays, and Insights to Improve Communication Skills
Last month, I was invited to this one dinner party.
There were roughly 10 people in that dinner party.
I was the only new face there.
The other people often saw each other.
Since I was there, I was seen as the honorary guest.
I remember a few people having a conversation with me to make sure I got acclimated to the environment.
We eventually moved outdoors, and we were having a group conversation.
There was a couple who was there who had polar opposite personalities.
The wife was an extrovert, and the husband was an introvert.
The introverted husband was a good guy.
However, his questions were tricky.
He’d ask me these bold personal questions in a group setting:
- Armani, what is your ultimate career ambition?
- What is the purpose of your life?
- What mistake from your past haunts you?
There were 2 things wrong with this:
- Bro, I don’t know you like that for you to be asking me all these deep questions.
- I don’t like to answer these deep questions in front of people who I barely know.
He had the right intent though.
Throughout the event, he was social and wanted to make me feel involved.
After that event, I realized that asking deep questions are a toss-up.
The most optimal times to ask personal questions is in a one-on-one setting or if there is pre-existing rapport with the group members.
When we ask a deep question to someone in a personal setting, then it’s easier for them to open up.
Or if the different members already know each other, then deep questions are bought up on autopilot.
I think that’s what happened that day.
I have a face where people get comfortable with me quick.
Since the group already had pre-existing rapport, the introverted husband thought he had a lot of rapport with me too.
Then he thought I had a lot of rapport with the group I just met.
And the questions were fired off.
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