Raising Your Voice vs. Yelling at Someone: What’s the Difference?
We’re experiencing an epidemic nowadays.
People can’t pay attention.
Not only do they struggle with focus, but many are becoming more comfortable interrupting others.
There was a time when listening was seen as virtuous, a key aspect of polite conversation.
Now, it seems to be a competition of who can interrupt the most.
When you call these interrupters out, they often respond:
“Don’t mind me, bro. I just have ADHD.”
The only way to get through to these individuals is by raising your voice from time to time.
Drown out their interruptions, and they’re forced to pay attention.
Is raising your voice the same as yelling?
Not quite.
Raising Your Voice
The similarity between raising your voice and yelling is that both involve speaking louder than your normal tone.
But the intent behind raising your voice is different.
When you raise your voice, it’s often because the message you’re delivering needs to be heard.
For example:
In group settings, people tend to chatter unless there’s a clear leader commanding the room. Leaders with strong, effective voices captivate people’s minds and hearts.
This type of voice doesn’t just happen overnight.
It takes practice.
A strong voice can be raised without sounding harsh or abrasive.
It feels like a natural, energized extension of their usual tone.
Sometimes, a raised voice is born out of frustration.
When someone interrupts repeatedly, there comes a moment when enough is enough, and the speaker raises their volume.
However, frustration and anger aren’t the same.
Frustration is a passing annoyance, while anger lingers and creates lasting memories.
Yelling at Someone
Yelling, on the other hand, is usually fueled by anger.
A boiling feeling that seeks release.
When you yell at someone, it often comes across as a personal attack.
It creates a memorable (and usually negative) impression.
When adults are yelled at, their immediate response is often to say, “Calm down, calm down!”
This reaction isn’t just about defusing the situation; for many, yelling triggers memories of childhood trauma.
A parent or authority figure may have yelled at them frequently, leaving them feeling small and vulnerable.
Yelling is a forceful way of communicating, but it’s also risky.
It can hurt relationships and make people defensive, even if you’re justified.
Is Raising Your Voice Necessary Nowadays?
Sometimes, yes, raising your voice is necessary.
In an ideal world, people would pay attention and wait their turn to speak.
But today, interruptions are common.
If you only speak in your normal voice for the sake of politeness, you’ll likely be drowned out.
If you’re uncomfortable raising your voice, consider these alternatives:
- Use body language – A simple gesture, like raising your hand or pausing, can signal others to stop interrupting.
- Keep talking – If someone interrupts, don’t stop. Keep speaking until they realize they can’t take over the conversation.
Women, for example, often have to develop this skill because their naturally softer voices can be overpowered.
Some women continue speaking calmly yet firmly until they regain control of the discussion.
Is Yelling Ever Necessary?
Contrary to popular opinion, yelling is necessary for certain situations.
While mental health advocates emphasize avoiding yelling, sometimes it’s the only way to get your point across.
For example, I once dealt with a customer support team that repeatedly gave me the runaround regarding missing royalty payments.
I tried being polite, but they brushed me off for two years.
Finally, I yelled at them on the phone and followed up with a strongly worded email.
That got their attention.
The executive team reached out directly, realizing the urgency of the issue.
That yell didn’t just benefit me.
It also helped other authors who were facing similar problems.
Yelling is a gamble.
Some people shut down when yelled at because it activates past trauma.
No matter how valid your point, yelling might overshadow your message.
Final Thoughts
Both raising your voice and yelling involve speaking louder, but the intent is key.
Raising your voice can be an effective tool when used sparingly, especially to assert authority or emphasize a message.
Yelling, however, should be reserved for rare situations where it’s absolutely necessary.
And even then, it should be used with caution.
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– ArmaniTalks 
