Michelangelo Phenomenon: How Humans Sculpt Humans
Have ever seen a couple and thought:
‘Hmm, those 2 sort of look like each other.’
I’ve seen that a few times.
The couple begins looking like brother and sister.
I thought I was the only one who noticed that.
But I noticed that others noticed that too.
One time, I wrote in my newsletter that Donald Trump and his wife Melania Trump both have similar serious-looking faces.
And immediately, a few others were like:
‘Whoa, I was thinking the same thing!’
What does this mean?
Do the similarities only stop with looks…
Or does it translate to behavior as well?
What is the Michelangelo Phenomenon?
The Michelangelo Phenomenon states that:
We tend to be sculpted by the people that we deem signficant.
This idea has been boiled down into different quotes.
One of the quotes is:
‘You are the average of your 5 best friends.’
If you hang with 5 losers, then you will become the 6th.
Why does this happen?
It happens because humans have a thing called mirrored neurons.
We slowly start to mirror what we consistently see.
Is the Michelangelo Phenomenon Set in Stone?
Any subject that is studied long enough begins to present nuances.
Allow us to go back to one of the quotes from earlier:
‘If you hang with 5 losers, then you will become the 6th.’
What exactly determines a loser?
What if these guys are losers at self-improvement, but their social game is on point?
Are they still a loser then?
Maybe they view you as the loser.
Therefore, clichés provide some utility when determining human behavior.
However, at a point, cliches become a roadblock that creates more blind spots.
From my experience, the Michelangelo Phenomenon does hold true in certain parts of life.
While in others, it is too early to tell.
More data needs to be compiled.
How to Use the Michelangelo Phenomenon in your Life
One way to extract practical utility from the Michelangelo Phenomenon is to understand:
Energy does have a role.
Humans are sculpting each other to a certain degree.
The question is, how are you being sculpted?
And how is your team being sculpted?
Howard Schultz of Starbucks has had a lot of breakthroughs as CEO.
In the early part of his career, he was focused on hiring heart over talent.
Credentialed individuals saw that as ridiculous.
You don’t create a successful business with heart.
You create a successful business with practical skills.
Howard would disagree with that.
If you have heart, you have the right attitude.
With the right attitude, it’s easier to buy into the company’s vision rather than only focusing on the bottom line.
Once the mind is engulfed in the company’s vision, it is easier to acquire skills from that.
Reverse engineering 101.
Deep down, I believe Howard understood the effects of the Michelangelo Phenomenon.
He probably knew that humans sculpted each other to a certain degree.
As a baby company, he hired those with the right attitude.
The enthusiasm was contagious.
And that allowed a flywheel effect to set off.
What Are You Trying to Improve?
It’s difficult to assess who is toxic and who is not without any form of direction.
Without any direction, their toxicity is confused as passion.
This is why a lot of seemingly sane people often stay with toxic people.
They don’t see they are in a toxic relationship.
Therefore, it is important to ask:
‘What am I trying to improve?
If you’re at the stage where you have an upcoming exam that is going to determine your future…
Then at this chapter of your life, the exam is king.
If you have friends who just want to be social all the time, those effects may rub off on you.
It creates noise.
No need to cut them off completely.
But find a way to create some distance until the exam is done.
There was an unusual experience I encountered a few years ago.
I have no clue if this ties into the Michelangelo phenomena.
But it may.
I knew this guy who broke up with his girlfriend of 7 years.
Before the relationship, he was a player.
Before, whenever he would break up with a girl, he’d be hooking up with another girl asap.
But this time, his brother told him to take another approach.
His brother said:
‘Just make friends with a few girls. Be around their presence without making a move. You’ll move on faster that way.’
The newly single friend thought the idea was ridiculous.
But he tried it anyway.
He hit up a few girl cousins and chilled with them.
After chilling with them, he stopped viewing his ex as:
- The only girl out there.
Instead, he saw that there were plenty of women around.
All with different personalities.
I’m not sure what that interaction meant.
But I believe it had something to do with humans sculpting other humans’ thought processes
Friends and Content
I first heard about the Michelangelo Phenomenon when I was done with work early.
That’s when I began reading some psychology articles.
Suddenly, a few things in my life began to make sense.
A few of the workers on my floor had similar personalities.
Whiney and mopey.
Whenever I would eat lunch with them, I felt more whiney and mopey.
Got agitated by little things.
Like if it took a millisecond too long for a psychology article to load, I’d scrunch up my face.
That is when I realized:
Michelangelo was a famous sculptor.
His psychology principle demonstrated that my whiney co-workers were sculpting me.
Chiseling away.
People play a role in how we think and behave.
Even if the movements are unnoticeable at first.
Don’t stop at people alone though.
Content plays a larger role than you can imagine.
To be surrounded with empowering content to sculpt you in the right direction, be sure to check out the Armanitalks free daily newsletter.
This newsletter has daily tips to improve your mindset, speaking skills, and social skills!
Join the tribe of 1000s by signing up here
– ArmaniTalks 
