Insights on How to Spot a Liar

Insights on How to Spot a Liar


People are naturally good storytellers.

If you think you have to learn storytelling, then that’s the incorrect paradigm.

You’re already great.

Now it’s time to unlearn the notion that you’re not great.


‘Can you prove to me that people are naturally great storytellers?’

Nah. But use some common sense.

2 traits:

Gossiping and lying.


No one goes to a class on how to gossip.

It just happens.

No one goes to a class on how to lie.

It just happens.


Both parties are skilled storytellers.

Let’s learn how to spot the latter.

A liar.


Is it malicious, or are they just using their imagination?

Do they mean harm, or are they unaware of what they are doing?


Let’s Place the Blame on You First


Okay, so we are going to be counterintuitive.

First, we are going to blame you.

‘Me?? The other person was the one who lied. I was the victim!’

Was that really the case?


The first reason people lie is because they fear you.

You have higher authority than them or you nitpick a lot.


This causes them to be in a state of unease.

Which leads to crafting tales from the abyss.


Blaming yourself when someone else lies is probably the last thing you want to do.

However, it’s the smart thing to do.


Mainly because looking at the mirror in these situations can influence your leadership style and people skills for the future.

Are you too abrasive?



Ponder on that.


Why People Lie



Okay, now that we got the blaming you part out of the way…

The second reason people lie is because they are unaware they are lying.

They may think they are presenting the correct information.

However, they got their data wrong or forgot.


This group is often misinformed.

Not malicious.


The third reason people lie is because of sinister reasons.

They are trying to cover their tracks for doing something they are aware they should not have done.

Cheating, stealing, plagiarizing, killing, etc.


What made them behave this way?



How to Spot a Liar through Behavior


The quote ‘judge someone by what they do, not what they say’ is a practical quote.

It’s become a cliche at this point.


Yet, it’s difficult to execute this advice.


Because watching what someone does takes longer.

Listening to what they say doesn’t need as much effort.


Think about it like this:

The brain can be lazy!

When presented with a shortcut, it will gladly take it.


Imagine an employee who leaves work exactly on time even though he didn’t get his deliverables complete.

He says, ‘My schedule is from 9-5 pm. Not any more than that.’

So he dips. That’s the natural response of the brain.


On the other hand, let’s say his productive twin is presented with the same situation.

But this one takes his work back home with him.

This is a counterintuitive response.

Because it requires more work.


That’s exactly what judging someone’s actions come down to.

In a metaphorical sense, we are taking our work back home with us.

Which is annoying.


With strangers, we are not that trusting.

But when someone shows the potential of being a friend, we want to be trusting.


That’s because people have the desire to bond, which allows them to hit the desire to feel.

At times, we judge the words over the actions, because we want to feel the feeling of bonding.




A liar is not noticeable.

They are very subtle.


I’ll give you an example.

I had a college buddy who would usually have his girlfriend chill with us in this student meetup spot.

This was a few years ago.

We would all chill in a place called the Marshall Center.


Well, this guy was notoriously known for his cellphone dying.

So he’d routinely ask his girl for her phone.


One of the days, as we are all sitting together, he gets his girl’s phone.

Only difference?

There is a passcode.


He is aware of most of her passwords. She’s the type of person who puts her birthday on most pins.

When he tries those digits, it doesn’t work.

That’s when he asks her for the passcode.


She puts in the code.

He is oblivious.


The other guys look at each other.

Not good.

Red flag.


After a few weeks, it came out that she was cheating on this fellow.

Notice how it wasn’t a GRAND showing.

It was something very subtle…..


Prime the mind to look for the small.

If they lie about the small things, then they will lie about the big things.


Calling BS: Narratives & How to Spot a Liar


If you’re new to my blog, I routinely break down soft skills.

The topics I cover are:

  • Public speaking, storytelling, social skills, emotional intelligence, creativity, and mindset.


The post that you’re reading right now is listed under storytelling.

‘Why not social skills? Spotting a liar seems more like a social skills thing.’

That’s what it seems like on the SURFACE level.

But at the core level, we are discussing a storytelling topic today.


Liars follow a story in their minds, THEN act on it.

Waiting to always see the behavior will have you getting backstabbed a lot.


For this guy who got cheated on….

I’m sure there were inconsistencies in his ex’s stories leading up to the passcode change (behavior).

But that’s not what he primed his mind to look out for.


A lie starts in the story mind before it is executed in physical reality.

All things in life work like that.


With lying, spotting inconsistencies in the story is the most important part.

And you want to be subtle about it.


Better yet, it’s not really a move you want to do all the time.

Now you’re nitpicking.


‘When do I know how to check for inconsistencies in a story?’

Your body will alert you.


Not trying to go left field.

But the body knows the answers.

It may seem like it’s bound by the rules of space, time, and causation.

Our physical body, yes.

Yet, the feelings have the answer beyond time.


Gotta’ prime the mind to be aware of those feelings.

It’ll alert you when something is up.


‘Is this the gut instinct that people often talk about?’

Yea. But I don’t like the phrase ‘gut instinct.’

Because the feeling can occur beyond the gut.


For different people, it’s different.

Some feel strong sensations in their ear + shoulders.

Some on their knees + chest.

And for some, yes, the gut.


How to Spot a Liar & Learn


Just like anything, there is never a 100% success rate.

That’s why I hate roller coasters.


I used to have this blind faith that roller coasters could never fuck up.

Definitely not to me! I’m special.


After getting my degree in electrical engineering, I came to realize that I’m a few circuit failures away from being stuck upside down.

This risky machine doesn’t even have a 100% success rate…

What makes you think people will?


It’s impossible to always know how to spot a liar.

You can just take the precautions.


Look out for the stories.

Are the stories they are saying inconsistent?


Is it because:

-You are abrasive?

-They are a dumbass who doesn’t know any better?

-Or, because they are plotting your demise?

That’s when the body will look out for you when the intellect is 10 steps behind…


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