I’m Socially Awkward. Now What?

I’m Socially Awkward. Now What?

 

Personality dictates personal reality.

What’s your perception of personality?

Is it fixed or dynamic?

Hm…

 

I would say that we tend to lean a certain way.

There are general heuristics of how a person tends to behave.

However, when breaking it down from a macro level, personality is capable of shifting.

 

We are rarely the same person now as we were 2 years ago.

This can be a good change or a bad change.

Bottom line is that a change took palace.

 

Are you someone who wonders, ‘I’m socially awkward. Now what?’

If so, this blog post is going to give you some clarity.

You will learn what is social awkwardness, whether or not it is holding you back from creating opportunities, and a few potential actions steps to take.

 

Change is inevitable.

It’s up to us to decide which direction that change will follow.

 

What all Socially Awkward People have in Common

 

Social awkwardness is born from tension.

View the tension as speedbumps.

 

Imagine that you have a rope that you initially assumed does not have knots in it.

This is a LONG rope.

 

As you start to trace back to the beginning of the long rope, you come across some knots.

1 knot.

Smooth…

2nd knot…

Smooth…

3rd knot.

 

There are gaps in between the knots.

But the knots are there, nevertheless.

 

Smooth represents tension-free.

This is when there is a nice flow in conversation without much awkwardness.

The knot represents tension.

‘What causes the tension?’

It can be a variety of things.

 

Saying the wrong things in a conversation, fumbling a word, having a controversial opinion, etc.

 

A socially awkward person has more knots in their rope than a charismatic person.

‘Do charismatic people have tensions as well?’

They do…

But they view that tension in an entirely different way.

 

 

Social Awkwardness vs An Interesting Personality

 

I used to have this English professor in high school who was an odd fellow.

He would always correct people’s grammar.

‘What’s so odd about that? He’s an English teacher.’

Yes, he’d do it with his students.

We expected that.

 

What was strange was that he would also correct the teacher’s grammar as well!

As a high school student, I thought that was very peculiar.

As did the other teachers.

 

In addition to him correcting the grammar of anyone who came in contact with him, he’d also say a bunch of corny jokes.

The jokes where you’d be like, ‘come on man, that’s so lame!!’

 

Why did the bird go to the hospital?

‘Idk, why?’

To get a tweet-ment.

‘Ah Armani, that’s so lame!’

Hey, that was his joke, not mine.

 

Anyways, what I viewed to be socially awkward on his end was actually leverage for him.

His perception of his jokes and his tendency to correct grammar was favorable.

He viewed his behavior in a positive light.

This led others to enjoy his presence.

 

By the time high school was done, we all got to vote for our favorite teacher.

The winner would be posted on the yearbook.

This English professor ended up winning.

 

Very unique.

Was this guy socially awkward or interesting???

‘Can people really be both?’

Yes, they can.

 

Defining Interesting

 

When I say the phrase, interesting, I want you to think about it in practical terms.

Don’t give me a fluffy response.

 

What do you think of when you think interesting?

‘A Johnny Bravo-like character. Smooth, slick, and charismatic.’

I said don’t give me a fluffy response!

 

That’s what most people default to.

At one moment, they want to be interesting.

The next moment, they can’t define it in a practical way.

 

My definition of interesting = Different.

Being different is what creates a contrast in the mind.

 

This is why if I show you 7 highlighters that are yellow.

And 1 highlighter that is gray…

You’d say the gray highlighter is the more interesting one.

Even though gray is not an interesting color. It’s rather bland.

 

Seth Godin pretty much built his marketing book, Purple Cow, around this concept.

Where being different can be leverage.

It allows you to create a contrast in someone’s mind.

(^which word sticks out the most?)

 

‘What does the contrast do in practical terms?’

It’s a cheat code to memorability.

 

The brain hates using too much cognitive effort for a prolonged period of time.

It likes to organize information on a high level and go detailed if need be.

Therefore, when something is different, it creates unique compartments in someone else’s mind.

Which leads to better memory recall in the future.

 

What Does All This Mean for You?

 

‘Alright, Armani. I’m hearing a bunch of hoopla. Answer my question. I’m socially awkward, now what??’

You need to untie some of the knots and accept other knots.

 

What separates interesting people from socially awkward people is their perception of the knots.

Interesting people are able to enjoy and embrace the tension.

While socially awkward people view the tension as an indicator of doing something wrong.

 

Knots are an analogy for the flaws.

The weird things which can make you, you.

 

The goal of social skills is not to fit in.

It’s actually to be yourself, which makes sticking out be a byproduct.

That’s why some knots need to be accepted rather than untied.

 

Let’s say you have a fashion sense where you wear bright Hawaiian shirts.

That may be considered weird by some people.

For others, they view it as a part of your brand.

 

John Lasseter, from Pixar, wore those bright Hawaiian shirts and made it his brand.

Same with Dustin Poirier from the UFC.

They accepted the knots and made them a part of their rope.

 

On the other hand, certain knots need to be untied.

The tendency to cut others off, make every conversation about you, and being a nice guy.

These rarely provide value in the grand scheme of things.

 

‘How do I know which knots to untie and which to keep?’

That’s your decision.

Never expect someone to spoonfeed you every step in the social skills world.

Mommy wow, I’m a big kid now.

 

That’s social skills.

Introspection allows you to be dynamic and see which knots are worth keeping and which are holding you back.

 

The key in all of this is to know that dealing with people is like a rope.

No one’s rope is without any form of tension.

It’s just a game of deciding which tension is worth it.

 

 

Be Unique, Be Interesting and Capture Minds

 

There are a few people who stick out.

Sticking out can be dangerous if that’s your intention.

You start peacocking on purpose.

 

On the other hand, understand some basic fundamentals of social skills.

Dealing with people is a lot like fitness.

 

If you want to lose fat, eat fewer calories than your maintenance calories.

If you want to gain muscle, eat more calories than your maintenance.

(Obviously, work out and sleep too. Don’t come at me, fitness folks…)

 

If you want to be charismatic, leave others better off than you found them.

If you don’t want to be charismatic, leave others worse off than you found them.

 

This rope analogy I gave you in this post is to help you internalize that it was never about you.

Be socially awkward to make that realization for yourself.

 

Put the spotlight on someone else to pay attention, be more present and accept the good/bad sides of your personality.

 

Social awkwardness is better than being just like everyone else.

However, the best is to be different and then put the spotlight on someone else.

That’s why the hypeman is the easiest path towards charisma.

 

For more practical insights to skyrocket your charism, Check out the Charisma King. 

 

– ArmaniTalks 🎙️🔥

Share This On:

JOIN THE ARMANITALKS NEWSLETTER

Level up your communication skills with a new email everyday at 7pm EST
SUBSCRIBE

LEVEL UP MENTALITY : A GUIDE TO RE-ENGINEER YOUR MINDSET FOR CONFIDENCE

Armani Talks: Level Up Mentality : A Guide to Re-engineer your Mindset for Confidence - Book By Armani Talks

BUY ON AMAZON

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

close-link

Join the
ArmaniTalks 🎙️🔥
Newsletter

Stay updated with all latest tips , tricks & strategies to build communcications skills.
SUBSCRIBE
close-link

close-link

DOWNLOAD FREE

Get the Free eBook by signing up below.​
You can unsubscribe anytime
close-link
Build communication skills with daily tips
Subscribe
Join 10K subscribers
close-image

JOIN THE ARMANITALKS NEWSLETTER

Level up your communication skills with a new email everyday at 7pm EST
SUBSCRIBE