How to Stop Rambling & Over Talking
Everyone loves to ramble, but no one loves to be rambled to.
The reason people love to ramble is because they love speaking.
Speaking is a subconscious act.
On the other hand, listening is a conscious act.
Meaning that it requires cognitive effort.
When the brain is given the path of least resistance, it will often take it.
When it’s given the option to speak or listen, it will often choose speaking.
However, rambling is a socially unintelligent move.
You can call it a social sin.
The worst thing you can say is, ‘I can’t do anything about my rambling.’
As a matter of fact, you can learn how to stop rambling and overtalking.
This article will share how.
What Constitutes as Rambling?
Context matters in social skills.
What is seen as normal in certain scenarios may be bizarre for other scenarios.
Rambling in certain situations is fine.
Let’s say a quiet kid who rarely talks is suddenly rambling.
That means the story is important to them.
Another scenario is when a person who just moved into a new location is rambling.
Chances are they are lonely, so they are talking more.
Overall, situational rambling is not bad.
But character rambling is bad.
This is when no matter which scenario you are in, others can expect you to talk a lot.
You create points and overdo the details which causes you to not go anywhere.
If you feel like you’re guilty of this, then you will need to learn how to stop rambling.
Listen More: 4D Style
One of the easiest ways to learn how to stop rambling and overtalking is to listen more.
Not any kind of listening, but the 4D one.
The difference between 3D listening and 4D listening is the number of senses involved.
Often, when we think of listening, we mentally create an image of:
This is better than 0 imagery.
But listening only with the ears is basic.
Instead, aim to listen with any sense that is appropriate for the situation.
Sometimes, it will be the eyes.
‘I can listen with the eyes?’
A 4D listener can.
Other times, you can listen with the nose.
An example is when someone only smokes before high-pressure events.
They aren’t using words, but the information is still capable of being understood.
4D listening is no easy task.
When you aim to get the other senses engaged, the tendency to ramble melts away.
It’s because you’re assigning yourself something more important than speaking.
Playing the 1 Syllable Game
The 1 syllable game is when you form meaningful sentences with 1 syllable words.
- Tom took his dog to the park.
- I clicked the mouse.
- Jane was sad when she heard the news.
Any dummy can create only 1 sentence with 1 syllable words.
It takes skill to string sentences together!
Stringing sentences together is pretty advanced.
So, be a dummy for a while.
Take it 1 sentence at a time.
‘What is this game doing for me, Armani?’
It’s making you think clearly and efficiently.
Although you may not notice it, the brain is being rewired to ‘get to the point.’
This game will teach you how to stop rambling and overtalking.
Understand Yourself & Your Ideas
A big part of rambling comes down to not knowing where you stand on certain issues.
That’s why a ton of people think out loud.
Some conversations are better when you just say:
‘I don’t have an opinion on the matter.’
For other conversations, you probably could have an opinion on the matter.
It would help if you clarified your positions on the matter beforehand.
‘How do I clarify my position?’
By having some sort of writing and/or speaking practice.
Writing and speaking require:
- T.O.L.D = Thinking Out Loud
When you put in the work behind the scenes, you’ll see yourself getting to the point in front of the scenes.
There’s crystal clarity in your answers because you are well thought out.
Tons of people have a ‘philosophy’ which are presented to them.
Others told them to think that way, so they think that way.
When they are told to explain their position, they are unable to because they have no logical understanding of the framework.
With writing & speaking, you will learn the art & science of getting to the point.
Last but not least, analyze how you feel when you are surrounded by ramblers.
‘Why would I possibly put myself near ramblers?’
Who said you could help it?
Speaking simply is a lot like having a 6 pack.
When you see someone who is shredded, know that they earned it.
When you see someone speaking simply, know that they earned it.
This allows you to have realistic expectations when dealing with others.
When they ramble, you don’t lose your cool too fast.
If you’re close with the person who is rambling, gently making them aware helps a ton.
Often, they are unaware that they are rambling.
But if you don’t know them like that, analyze your feelings around them.
Your body will associate a draining feeling with the act of rambling.
This will allow you to be hyper-aware if you ramble in the future.
Pain by association.
A creative way to learn how to stop rambling and overtalking.
Get to the Point & Build your Charisma
Communication is learnt through practice.
For a lot of skills, you can learn behind the scenes with no eyes on you…
With communication, there will be eyes on you.
It’s normal to fall into the rambling trap.
At those moments, make yourself aware, adjust and keep fine-tuning.
Over time, you’ll be like the person who gets the coveted 6 pack.
The only difference is that we are playing a mental game.
Learn how to stop rambling & overtalking to get to the point like a winner.
If you enjoyed this article, then be sure to check out my Conversation Skills for Dummies Class!
-How to start conversations
-How to keep conversations going
-Avoiding bad conversations
And much more!