How to Stop Cutting People Off
Have you ever observed the people who are masters at cutting other people off?
‘Uh… in traffic?’
Nope, in a conversation.
‘Oh yea, plenty of times!’
Cutting people off is by far one of the biggest mistakes someone can make in a social interaction.
You tarnish likability, sour the social bond & spark a whole lotta` egos.
A lose-lose if you ask me.
But why do so many people do it?
It’s because their ego rules them vs. the other way around.
From their perspective, the world revolves around them.
They are the main characters & the social interaction should bend to their will.
‘Are people who cut others off malicious?’
Surprisingly, not really.
In today’s article, I am going to talk about:
- Why people cut others off
- How to handle it
- And what to do if YOU cut others off.
This will help you level up your social intelligence, so you are bringing people in, rather than pushing them away.
Why Do People Cut Others Off?
The golden question, are these people malicious?
They are mainly unaware.
Have you ever had that moment when you were telling a story to a group, and telling it… and telling it some more?
Soon, you noticed the glazed eyes, excessive watching checking & yawns to notice that you were rambling!
After making yourself alert, you felt a little embarrassed & got to the point.
Well, you weren’t trying to be malicious when you were rambling, were you?
‘No, I was just being myself & telling a story.’
Exactly, you were just being yourself.
If you look closer at interrupters, they behave like this in MANY social interactions.
They have no clue how to stop cutting people off.
Because they are unaware they are cutting people off in the first place!
Very poor predicament to be in for these people.
The Side Effects of Cutting People Off
Interrupting has compound effects.
Especially when it happens with different groups of people.
A few of the side effects include:
- Tarnished likeability
- Succumbing to the ego
- Looking to talk vs. listen
- Sparking gossip
and much more.
I know people who cut others off to intimidate others.
These people have fooled themselves to believe they are a ‘leader.’
But not at all.
A leader inspires people to take action, not pound their message thru brute force.
The days of the ‘hardass boss’ is a thing of the past in the leadership circles.
But I truly do feel bad for people who behave like this when they are unaware.
And this is exactly why I have a solution.
How to Handle People who Cut Others Off
I remember a while back, I was at a wedding.
And I ran into one of my good friends who I hadn’t seen in a while.
When we met up, it felt like we had picked up right where we left off.
He was telling me stories & I was telling him stories.
Well, I tried to tell him stories, but the dude kept cutting me off!
And once he would cut me off, he would switch the trajectory of the convo.
The interruption felt very disruptive & the dynamic was starting to bug me.
By the 5th time he did it, I gently stopped him midway & told him that he was interrupting me.
He looked back at me in terror.
‘Whoa, bro!! I was? My bad man, I had no clue!! Thanks for letting me know man.’
By the end of the convo, he stopped cutting me off.
But there is a bigger lesson.
I gave him a gift that day.
The gift of awareness.
When you are dealing with family or a close friend, then it is your duty to make them aware.
If they don’t stop cutting people off, then they will have a much tougher life.
Is that what you want?? Well??
‘No that’s not what I want!’
Exactly. So make them aware. Do so without irritation in your voice.
‘But what if it’s a stranger or someone that I am just getting to know?’
In situations like this, I suggest you let them behave how they want to until rapport is established OR exit the interaction.
Without rapport, you will most likely spark their ego & they will put a guard up.
Most people, unfortunately, don’t want to be helped.
Especially from someone they aren’t tight with yet.
How YOU Can Stop Cutting People Off
If you have been reading so far & have noticed that you are guilty of this, congrats.
At least you are now aware.
And the following tips will help you.
From here on out:
- Enter the interaction to understand vs. show how much you know.
- Follow the 70/30 rule:
- 70% listening & 30% talking
You can adjust depending on the person that you are speaking with, but aim to follow this formula.
You are going to have to recondition your social muscle.
Thus far, you have led with a talkers mentality.
But talkers who only talk & don’t let others talk are despised in the social world.
You are hurting many social connections in the process.
You may relapse every now and then & interrupt someone.
But if you do, make yourself AWARE & say ‘sorry, you were saying something?’
Over time, your behavior will recalibrate.
How to Stop Cutting People off For Good!
If you have made it this far, then I want you to know something.
Don’t personalize interruptions.
Many people personalize getting cut off & begin a jousting match with the other person on who can interrupt more.
Either make them aware or gracefully exit the interaction.
Hostility will make you look like a clown.
Here’s the thing with the social world….
You should not be rattled when someone cuts you off.
I doubt you cry every time someone cuts you off in the highway.
So treat interactions the same.
Every time you are able to recalibrate your behavior when this social move occurs, every time you grasp a stronger hold of your ego.
Give these tips a try & move with poise!
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