How to Spot a Mute (And Stop Being One)

There’s a big difference between being quiet and being a mute.

Being quiet means you don’t have much to say.

You’re still capable of creating and carrying a conversation.

But for the most part, you just don’t feel the need to speak all the time.

On the flip side, a mute barely speaks at all.

I can usually spot a mute by the way they shock people when they finally do speak.

The first thing that runs through my mind isn’t even about what they said.

It’s just surprise that they’re talking at all.

When people ignore the content of your message and just focus on the fact that you’re speaking… that’s when you know you’ve built a reputation as a mute.

The Quiet Coworker

There was this one coworker I remember.

A super quiet girl who was hyper-focused on her job.

She’d come to work, get her tasks done, and leave.

Day in and day out.

And even though she was productive, her silence began to hurt her reputation.

People started to say she wasn’t a team player.

That she didn’t care to get to know her coworkers.

That she was killing the team spirit.

And when she did try to socialize, people ignored her.

They were so unfamiliar with her voice that whenever she said something, they were just shocked she spoke at all.

Here’s the twist though…outside of work, she was far from a mute.

Her Instagram told a different story.

She went to concerts.

She had friends.

She seemed pretty pleasant.

But at work?

Total mute energy.

That’s when I realized something:

• Being a mute in one part of your life doesn’t mean you’re a mute in all parts of your life.

A lot of kids, especially Desi kids, can relate.

They’re super talkative around their friends.

Funny, energetic, expressive.

But the moment their mom tells them, “Say hi to the uncles and aunties,” or “Go sit with them,” they become a brick wall.

Their words stop leaving their mouth.

They become a mute.

It’s not that they can’t talk.

It’s that they choose not to in certain situations.

Why Being a Mute Isn’t Just “Okay”

Some people think being a mute is just “not that bad.”

I’d argue it’s worse than bad…

It’s awful!

Because when you’re a mute, you make things awkward for others.

People want to enjoy themselves, and your lack of expression makes them uncomfortable.

You’re just a warm body in the room.

Eventually, people start asking:

“What’s the point of this guy?”

Once your silence becomes a pattern, it starts to bother people.

And if you’re not careful, it becomes your reputation.

How to Stop Being a Mute

It’s simple:

• Say more words.

Ask questions.

Share comments.

Just say something.

Here’s the trick:

• Talk first, think later.

A lot of adults get in their heads.

We overthink what to say.

We assume people care about the content too much.

But here’s a secret…

They don’t.

Since COVID, I’ve noticed this more and more.

People aren’t judging the message nearly as much as they’re absorbing the audio.

They just want to hear something.

So if your voice is in the mix, you’re already winning.

The Power of Audio

Once you understand this, it becomes liberating.

Some people might be annoyed by the idea that words matter less than we think, but others (hopefully you) will feel freed by it.

Knowing that your life can get better simply by opening your mouth and saying a few words?

That’s power.

Start with one sentence per conversation.

That’s all it takes to break the mute habit.

Eventually, you’ll feel no need to read blog posts like this because you’ll naturally want to speak.

You’ll understand the true power of audio.

For more insights into public speaking, check out the Speaking Wizard eBook

– ArmaniTalks