Speak with Intention, Purpose, and POWER
Speaking with intention is a trait that great communicators have.
When they want to talk, they talk.
When they don’t want to talk, they don’t talk.
Poor communicators have the opposite trait.
They have the half-foot-in and half-foot-out mindset.
Which causes them to sound hazy and unsure.
Speaking with intention comes down to psychology.
First, let’s learn why we have the half-foot-in and haft-foot-out mindset.
From there, we will learn about a concept known as the intention light switch.
If you stick around long enough, you’ll be introduced to a fun exercise…
Why Poor Communicators Struggle
Poor communicators have a strange relationship with sound.
They view silence in interactions as a bad thing.
Therefore, they fill up the interaction with a lot of unneeded sounds.
- Either they will talk fast.
- Or they will be nervous laughing.
If there is a moment where there is silence, the poor communicator thinks:
‘Geez, I really blew it.’
This subconsciously causes the poor communicator to speak because they feel like they have to.
When they speak, they are like:
‘I don’t have anything to say, but I’ll force something out.’
This mindset causes the half-foot-in and half-foot-out delivery.
And it leads to an uncertain voice.
Silence Is Not The Enemy
The communication experience is not only about talking.
It’s a combination of sound and silence that creates the communication experience.
Similar to driving.
It’s not just the accelerator that makes us drive.
It’s the combination of the accelerator and the brake that creates the driving experience.
We don’t click the accelerator and the brake at the same time.
That would be silly.
We click one at a time.
Likewise:
- When we speak, we speak.
- When we don’t speak, we don’t speak at all.
View it like a light switch.
The Intention Light Switch
I once had a public speaking coach who had me do a lot of awkward speaking exercises.
His name was Joe.
One day, Joe was like:
‘Armani, force me to pick up this pencil with your words.’
At first, in an uncertain voice, I was like:
‘Hey Joe, pick up the pencil.’
I didn’t want to be too commanding because he was my coach.
So I was speaking but wanted to be silent at the same time.
Causing uncertainty.
In a babylike voice, Joe was like:
‘No, I don’t wanna!’
Immediately, I bust out laughing.
That’s when he said:
‘You need to be serious, Armani. You will not know when I will actually pick up the pencil. But each time, I want you to maintain a commanding voice. Work with uncertainty, don’t fight it!’
So I kept commanding him to pick up the pencil.
Each rep made my voice sound more certain.
The laughs began to melt away.
After the 15th rep, he finally picked up the pencil!
The exercise ended up shifting my mindset toward communication.
You only speak when you have something to say.
Why The Intent Light Switch Important
That exercise showed me the power of viewing intention as a light switch.
Not as a dimmer, but as a light switch.
Very important!
When a switch is in the middle ground territory, there will not be any light.
It’s because the loop in the circuit is not closed, which prevents the electricity from flowing.
Once the loop is fully closed, the light turns on.
Communicating with intent is very similar.
It’s either ‘you speak OR you don’t speak’ mindset.
Anything in the middle ground territory will be viewed as unconfident speaking.
With this attitude, let’s have you try out an exercise to understand the intent light switch for yourself.
Exercise to Speak with Intent
If you have a partner, that will be great.
If you don’t have a partner, then pull up an image of a human so you feel more engaged.
Now have a commanding tone and tell them to pick up something.
‘John, pick up this pencil.’
A commanding tone does not mean that you’re yelling.
View it as a calm, composed, and convinced tone.
The other person you are role-playing with should make this a VERYY difficult task for you.
If they make you laugh, that’s even better.
As they try to make you laugh with their stubbornness, maintain your composure and be like:
‘John, pick up this pencil.’
Rather than switching words each time, use the same exact words.
Each rep should be commanding.
You should have no clue when they are actually going to pick up the pencil.
What’s happening is that uncertainty is being introduced.
For you to speak with the UTMOST intention despite uncertainty is what plants the seeds of a great communicator.
All In or All Out Mindset
A lot of my communication tips have basketball analogies.
It’s because I played a lot of ball growing up.
I’m stunned to see the parallels between shooting hoops and speaking skills.
The hoop is the point that you want to make.
Using words is like dribbling.
And there is another concept that all basketball players know.
The concept of FOLLOWING THROUGH!!
This is when you shoot with purpose.
After you release your shot, your wrist to palm should look like a goose’s neck.
If the shot goes in, great.
If it doesn’t go in, at least you know you did your best.
Very similar to communication.
Sometimes, you are speaking with purpose and the shot will not land.
Aka: the point is not understood.
Oh well…
At least you did your best.
Follow through, homie.
Speak with intent.
It’s either you’re all in or you’re all out.
No plan b!
For more practical tips to speak with intention, be sure to check out my book:
- Speak Easy: How to Be Articulate, Assertive, and Audacious Around People
This book will teach you more about:
- Speaking with clarity.
- Why flow beats force.
- Creating an articulation chamber.
- Exercises to improve your speaking skills.
- Building a brand with your words.
And much more!
GET SPEAK EASY HERE:
Ebook
Paperback/Kindle
Audiobook
