How to Let Go of Your Past
Memory makes a beautiful servant
Memory makes an awful master.
‘I don’t need to worry. My memory serves me.’
Does it? Let’s think about that.
Are you someone who:
- Keeps making the same mistakes?
- Holding onto generalizations?
- And playing back ‘what if’ scenarios?
If so, then chances are you are sleepwalking through life.
Sleepwalking through life is a phenomenon of when people are living the present and future from the lens of the past.
That’s because their memory has strengthened its grip over them.
And the memory is no longer a servant…
It has become the master.
Why The Past Is The Past
The past is not bad.
Heck, it’s capable of becoming a hub of knowledge.
What’s the difference between wisdom and information? Do you know?
‘I thought they were the same thing?’
No, they are different.
The difference is that information was not always experienced by the body.
While wisdom was experienced by the body.
One time, I was sitting through a lecture on the electromagnetic spectrum.
It was boring as hell.
“Learned” about Maxwell’s equations, some formulas, and some definitions.
It was information, nothing more.
A few years later, I started to sell Bluetooth beanies on Amazon.
I was amazed when I got my first pair and linked it with my phone.
I was able to use the beanie to play music, give voice commands, and answer phone calls.
It was amazing how the beanie was capable of talking with the phone without wires.
How?
After I did some research, I learned Bluetooth devices communicated through radio waves.
Did you know that radio waves were a part of this thing called the electromagnetic spectrum??
That’s when the electromagnetic spectrum became REAL for me.
It’s because I went through the experience of seeing the spectrum being applied in the real world.
If we use the past correctly, then it’s easier to become wise.
If we use the past incorrectly, then it’s easier to become a victim.
Why The Mind Dwells On The past
‘Why does my mind default to dwelling on the past?’
It’s because the body is not the only thing prone to gravity.
The mind is prone to gravity as well.
The mind succumbs to gravity in 3 ways:
- Negativity bias.
- Dwelling on the past.
- Both.
The negativity bias is the mind’s tendency to focus on the negatives over the positives.
Focusing on the negatives over the positives was high ROI for our ancient ancestors to avoid catastrophic threats.
But in the modern era, the negativity bias is less needed.
‘The negativity bias makes sense, but why does the mind gravitate towards the past?’
Because the mind is lazy.
‘Seriously haha, why?’
Because the mind is lazy…
For the mind to sit in the present, it needs mindfulness skills.
For the mind to envision the future, it needs visualization skills.
Without that, the mind defaults to the past because it already has a high volume of data from that time period.
How to Let Go of Your Past
One of the beginning chapters of my book, Level Up Mentality, talks about how to use forgiveness to level up.
Forgiving is a process rather than a command.
Don’t you hate it when someone barks a process as a command?
Imagine if you can’t cook, and someone keeps barking:
‘Hey dummy, cook!’
You’d probably say:
‘I don’t know how dumbass. Teach me!’
Because there are a series of steps involved in cooking.
Likewise, there are steps to forgiveness.
‘A lot of steps?’
Nah, just a few…
And the few are:
- Understand why the past happened the way it did.
- Make peace with it.
Making peace is a fancy way of saying, practice acceptance.
Rather than distracting the mind when the past negative moment is replayed, sit alongside it.
That’s how the narrative is rewired.
Bonus Way to Let Go of Your Past
Another way to let go of your past is by holding onto it.
‘What?? Doesn’t that contradict everything you wrote about?’
Nah. I’m talking about holding onto it through creating content.
In the ArmaniTalks newsletter (which you should sign up for) I once shared a story about waiting in line at Walmart.
I was minding my own business and having a good day.
Then a lady in front of me with 2 daughters aggressively turns around and looks at me. She asks:
‘Did you take my 20$?’
I said, no.
She raised her voice and once again asked:
‘Did you take my 20$?’
Once again, I said no.
At this point, others were looking at me suspiciously.
And she wasn’t taking no for an answer.
‘Can you please empty your pockets and take out your wallet?’
I was 17ish at the time and didn’t want any trouble.
So, I did as she asked to get all these people to stop staring at me.
After seeing I didn’t have her money, she rummaged through her purse again and found her 20$.
The woman never apologized for accusing me like that.
All those people at Walmart looked goofy for believing her.
I wrote a story about that event in my newsletter and talked about a few lessons:
- Be extra careful before accusing someone of something.
- Avoid automatically taking sides when a person is accused.
- If you mistakenly accuse someone, own up to the mistake.
After creating content on the matter, I became happy about that event.
‘Happy? Yea right. You probably got a lesson. But happy?? Don’t stretch it.’
Seriously, I became happy I went through that.
Because it was so long ago that I just categorized that moment as the ‘past.’
If I am going to have a big file cabinet called the ‘past,’ I might as well have a few entertaining stories in it.
- Annoying moment – Lesson = Regret
- Annoying moment + Lesson = Funny story
Content creation via public or private methods is capable of making sense of your past.
Make sense of your past by articulating your past.
Articulate your past, so you can finally let go of your past.
For more practical insights to develop a powerful mindset, be sure to check out:
- Level Up Mentality: A Guide to Re-Engineer Your Mindset for Confidence
GET HERE:
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Paperback/Kindle
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– ArmaniTalks 
