How to Have Long Conversations
The following post is from Concepts: 101 Short Stories, Essays, and Insights to Improve your Communication Skills
Long conversations showcase versatility.
Are you a part of the rare few who can hold one?
What practical benefits do long conversations serve?
- It enhances rapport
If you talk to someone for a while, there is a higher likelihood of getting more information out of them & providing more information about yourself.
- Content opportunities
Think of shows like the Joe Rogan Experience.
What exactly is it?
- It’s just 2 people talking.
To have long conversations, both parties must be willing to engage.
I’ve had moments where I was trying to talk to someone who had 0 personality.
Either they were nervous or they thought they were too good for me.
They gave responses, yes.
Sometimes, 1 word.
Other times, short responses without asking a question back.
Is it possible to hold long conversations with these lifeless personalities?
Yes.
But is it fun?
No.
When both people are down to talk, that’s when it becomes fun.
‘How do I know if someone is willing to talk to me for a while?’
Sometimes, the intent will not be obvious.
Other times, the intent will be obvious.
Not so obvious scenario:
If you’re talking to your friend, you don’t say:
‘Hey, would you like to talk for a while?’
You just go with the flow.
Obvious scenario:
Other times, a long conversation is implied by acceptance.
If someone gets invited to the Joe Rogan Experience, they are expected to hold their own to make sure the dialogue flows smoothly.
Therefore, the 1st ingredient to have long conversations is to have both parties be engaged.
The next ingredient is presence.
There’s a phrase that is well-intentioned but will cause you to burn out fast:
“Think before you speak.”
I believe this quote is great for politicians, celebrities, and those who are about to criticize someone.
But for social skills, my mantra is:
“Be present while you speak.”
When you think too much, you take yourself out of the present & keep thinking of what to say.
Once you have the “perfect” thing to say, the conversation has already moved onto a new topic.
But when you’re present, you’re nimble.
I like to view “think before you speak” as running full speed for an hour.
Can you do it?
Unlikely.
Chances are you can run fast for 10-20 minutes before you’re huffing and puffing away.
I like to view “be present while you speak” as walking for an hour.
Can you do it?
Yes!
Recap:
An optimal scenario for long conversations is when both parties are engaged.
Once both parties are engaged, be present.
Go wherever the conversation takes you rather than planning what to say.
By being engaged & present, the conversation will flow & a track of time will be lost.
GET CONCEPTS: 101 SHORT STORIES, ESSAYS & INSIGHTS TO IMPROVE COMMUNICATION SKILLS!
📖 Paperback/Kindle
📖 Audiobook
– ArmaniTalks 
