How to Have Fun Alone
This is a page for communication skills.
So you would imagine that I would talk about how to have fun in a group, right?
‘I was just thinking that bro!’
Well, today it’s going to be a different approach.
You see, having fun among others while you cannot have fun with your own presence is an illusion.
It’s sort of like seeing a mirage or a dream.
It looks real when you are going through it.
But once it is all over, something vanishes.
The art of having fun alone is the only fun there is.
That’s how you build a strong support system in yourself.
When you are able to do that, you attract more than doing too much.
The tension melts away.
Somewhere along the lines, we forgot about the art of having fun alone.
I call it self amusement.
But after today, you’ll start to see the magic behind your own presence.
Isn’t Fun Just for Little Kids?
I find it very fascinating when Michael Jordan said he viewed basketball as a form of meditation.
He said the game helped him relax.
Now if you were to tell an overweight dude whose hobbies are eating cookies & binge-watching Netflix, to play basketball for fun, he may look at you twice.
He doesn’t want to physically put his body through that!
Instead, the fat man has his own definition of fun.
‘Not sure where you are getting at Armani.’
What I mean is that humans don’t stop having fun, we just have different vehicles of expression as we grow up.
Michael Jordan was so great in basketball because he had fun behind his craft.
This allowed him to simply play and become great.
The term “play” in my eyes is synonymous with “tension-free.”
Compare that to someone who plays basketball because they HAVE to.
This individual views it as a job.
He will do the bare minimum & leave soon as he is allowed to.
The guy having fun wins time and time again.
Fun isn’t just for little kids, my friend.
It’s more so a spiritual thing.
It’s what turns average to good and good to great.
And more importantly, it allows you to enjoy the process, rather than lugging through it.
The key definition of growth.
The Illusion of Fun
One of the biggest reasons for anxiety is also our generation’s greatest strength.
And what is that?
Technology & luxury.
If you look around you, there are a lot of technology & luxuries we have that past generations would have viewed to be impossible.
Think about having your groceries delivered to you.
- Yep, that is a luxury that exists today.
How about having a supercomputer known as a cellphone in your pocket.
- Yep, technology like that exists today.
‘Well, how is that a bad thing?’
That can be a bad thing because it is causing us to become externally dependent creatures.
If you use these tools as a MAGNIFIER for your life, then all good.
But if these tools have such a strong grip over your life that you feel empty without it, then you are in trouble.
Crazy thing is that most people only associate fun with what they do with others.
- Let’s go to a movie.
- I got the latest Xbox game to play with others.
- I’m going to be shooting hoops with the squad.
All these are okay if you can have fun without these 3 examples.
If these external forms of fun are your only methods of enjoying yourself, then you are chasing an illusion.
You’ll notice once the event is over, you feel like you need another event.
The mere thought of just sitting and doing nothing terrifies you.
‘Shouldn’t it terrify everyone?’
Surprisingly, no.
The Importance of Having Fun Alone
What do you normally notice about confident people?
‘They have this no care vibe about them. They are authentic.’
And why do you think that is?
‘Uh…’
They are like this because they give themselves everything, first.
The world gains access to an individual who has taken their self-improvement seriously.
The confident individual now provides value to others by accident.
Much better than a needy nice guy who always needs assurance.
The reason that the confident person is WHOLE rather than a fragmentary being is because they have fun with their self-improvement.
SELF-improvement.
Notice the words I am capitalizing here.
The importance of self-improvement is that it allows you to take the internal to external approach.
Versus most of what the mainstream preaches.
The mainstream preaches external to internal approach.
Internal to external approach is that you invest in yourself. This allows you to enhance your perception.
An enhanced perception allows you to enjoy many more things that would have previously bored you.
Why?
Because you are self-amused.
The external to internal approach is what encourages consumerism.
- Buy this (external) and you will feel happy (internal state).
This may be a short term pleasure.
But you’re just chasing your tail on this one.
‘So self-improvement is the gateway to me having fun alone?’
Yep.
‘And if I can have fun alone, I can easily have fun around others?’
Correct.
‘Okay, Armani, where do I begin?’
The Self Improvement Journey is Fun
Contrary to the popular belief, self-improvement is not about putting yourself in massive pain.
Locking yourself away in a dungeon & doing agonizing workouts.
Truth be told, self-improvement is fun as hell.
Heck, that’s one of the measurements that you should be using.
Self-improvement is simple.
Those who make it complex lead anxiety-filled lives.
2 point checklist:
- Can I have fun with this once passing the learning stages?
- Does it lead to growth?
If you were to ask me to learn the fundamentals of gardening, I personally wouldn’t have fun at this stage of my life with that.
I’m pretty sure I can learn it, but it’s not for me.
However, communication skills was that for me.
I hated public speaking at first.
But I envisioned myself having learned the fundamentals. And could feel the sensations of fun.
Follow natural curiosities on this one.
You also have to ask yourself if it leads to growth.
If it has no growth, then you’re having fun, but not chasing self-improvement.
That’s fine too if that’s what you want to do.
I don’t only do tasks that are for self-improvement.
But I add the growth factor to weed out bad habits or chilling with toxic people.
Some people are chilling with toxic people with ages.
And have no clue what is wrong.
Sadly, they are unaware they are surrounded by toxicity in the first place.
This 2 step framework, will allow you to begin your process of having fun with ease.
And a byproduct is leveling up as a person!
Keep working on it and you will be Gucci.
Internal to External Magic
Once you can have fun by yourself, it is much easier to have fun along others.
But this time when the others leave, you aren’t an anxiety-riddled mess.
Instead, the fun still continues.
The reason self-amusement is crucial in life is because it takes the tension out of things.
I’m sure you have heard the quote:
The mind can make heaven a hell or hell a heaven.
Something like that.
This goes onto show that your mindset has a crucial role in the activities.
The mindset is your attitude champ.
Learn the art of self-amusement.
Have fun.
Loosen up.
And that’s when you will go from average to good.
And good to great.
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– ArmaniTalks 🎙️🔥
