How to Design a Best Man Speech

How to Design a Best Man Speech

A best man speech is a glorious moment for you.

Out of the billions & billions of people on this planet, you were chosen!

Congratulations, my friend.

‘Thanks Armani, but something doesn’t feel right.’

What is that?

I feel very anxious.

Ah I see…

You are currently feeling what many chosen for this coveted position feel.


You are feeling the nerves that lead up to your speech.

‘Is this normal?’

Yep, 100% normal.

I gave a best man speech at my brother’s wedding a few weeks ago.

And this was the 3rd best man speech that I have given thus far.

Having 3 best man speeches under my belt has allowed me to notice certain patterns in the entire process.

In this post, I want to share some mindset tips & ways for you to architect the perfect speech.

You ready??


Let us begin.

Mindset for a Best Man Speech

Having the right mindset is the key to unlocking anything in life.

A best man speech is no different.

You want to do 2 things:

  1. Embrace the nerves, not shut it down.
  2. Focus on providing value, not being perfect

Embrace the nerves, not shut it down

Beginner speakers have the tendency to think that nerves are a bad thing.

But in reality?

It is not!

It is only a bad thing if you view it as a bad thing.

And when you view it as a bad thing, you go out of your way trying to get your body to stop feeling this human emotion.

But that’s not how it works.

When you tell your body to stop thinking & feeling something, it just does it more.

Ex: Stop thinking about pink giraffes.

‘Whoa bro, for some strange reason I’m thinking about pink giraffes!’


This is the reason you want to embrace nervous energy.

Make yourself aware when your heart is beating fast, palms are getting a little sweaty & muscles are tightening.

Once you make yourself aware, your perception towards the feeling will change.

Awareness = Noticing without Judgment

The more you allow yourself to feel the emotion, the more you are able to use the energy to amplify your speech.

Result? A pretty entertaining delivery.

heart and brain

Focus on providing value, not being perfect

When you try to be a perfect speaker, all you do is focus on the wrong things.

Reality check bud….NO one likes the perfect speaker that you see on TV’s.

They aren’t authentic.

They love the speakers that are human.

Don’t sweat small mistakes, words slips, and an occasional filler word.

Instead, focus on providing value.

The 3 ways to provide value in a speech is to:



Challenge their thoughts

Focus on executing value & you’ll have a solid best man speech.

How To Structure A Best Man Speech

Now that we have your mind right, let’s focus on structuring a solid best man speech.

I want to give you a very easy formula to follow.

  1. Consume best man speeches
  2. Brainstorm with purpose
  3. Hit 1-2 emotions
  4. Practice

1. Consume best man speeches

YouTube is the perfect way to get a peak into weddings from all around the world.

Utilize it.

Watch at least 5 best man speeches & analyze what you liked & didn’t like.

This step is huge because it allows you to understand how a best man speech works.

You’ll begin to notice patterns after watching a few videos.

These patterns will help you produce a much more solid best man speech.


2. Brainstorm with Purpose

Brainstorming allows you to maintain your creativity.

One mistake beginner speakers make is that they think their speech has to be perfect in stage 1.


Just brainstorm ideas that come to you & write them down.

A few suggested ideas to channel your focus on are:

First time you met the groom

A funny story about the groom

A moment when you & the groom strengthened bond

Thoughts regarding the bride

These are just some suggestions.

But from my experience, a lot of good best man speeches have this framework.

3. Hit 1-2 emotions

A speech is memorable if you can make the audience feel at least 1-2 emotions.

Emotions allow your audience to feel more engaged in your speech.

‘Any emotions that you recommend?’


Humor & warm heart.

Let’s go back to my framework:

First time you met the groom

A funny story about the groom

A moment when you & the groom strengthened bond

Thoughts regarding the bride

From here, the second bullet allows the audience to laugh & feel good.

The third bullet allows you to take the audience on a mini journey & come back with a warm heart.

The fourth bullet makes them feel more compassionate as you pile on good traits regarding the bride.

You get the point.

The audience believe it or not have boring lives.

Bills, responsibilities, problems etc.

Your speech should serve as their escape from the real world.

4. Practice!

Now that you have your speech structured, go on and practice.

I recommend practicing in front of the mirror or recording yourself on camera.

This allows you to get a good feel for your body language & feel more confident come speech day.

Practice ahead of time, so you are not rushing the day of the wedding.

I recommend having your practice sessions complete so you can chill 1-2 days beforehand.

microphone speech

Deliver an Amazing Best Man Speech

Now with that being said, go kill it!!

You will deliver an amazing best man speech if you follow this formula.

Understand this.

From so many people on this planet, you were viewed as special enough to give this speech.

But don’t get it twisted.

Although it is an honor, you are not the star of the night.

The bride & groom are.

If you can focus on providing value & making them feel important, then you will give an amazing speech.

Now kill it.

Want to work 1 on 1 to get you set up for the big day?

Then sign up for a coaching session.

In the session I will help you:

-Deal with speech anxiety

Design a captivating speech

Leave a memorable impression.

To book a session, fill out your form below:

Design a Super Star best man speech


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