How to Debate Without Coming Off As a Jerk
Whenever a person thinks of debating, they think of something hostile.
Where 2 people are shouting at the top of their lungs.
If you watch a lot of debate shows, that’s what you will see.
2 individuals rudely cutting each other off.
Each side is trying to win.
And the people who set the debate up market it as:
“The battle of the best ideas. Who will win?”
Although this is great marketing, it takes away the purpose of what a debate is supposed to be.
The purpose is to assess which side is closer to the truth.
In order to discover the truth, we should have a systematic approach rather than a brutish approach to debating.
With the systematic approach, it will be easy to see which of our points are strong.
And which of our points could use some brushing up on…
How A Lot of Cultures Debate
In many cultures, one side has to accurately paraphrase the opponent’s side before providing their own points.
The opponent has to say they were accurately paraphrased for the debate to continue.
The reason paraphrasing is important is because:
- It shows you were listening.
- It shows you are open to changing your mind.
- It shows if you misunderstood one of their points.
- And a lot of times, it shows you guys were saying the same thing in different languages.
We want to make sure we are paraphrasing accurately.
Without ill intent.
A while back, Jordan Peterson did an interview with a host who clearly had an agenda.
Whenever she was paraphrasing, she wasn’t really paraphrasing.
Instead, she was putting words in his mouth.
‘What’s the difference between paraphrasing and putting words in someone’s mouth?’
- With paraphrasing, you’re summarizing what they said.
- With the latter, you’re saying what you wanted them to say.
The Power of Curiosity
Imagine that you were arguing that zebras were purple.
- Your goal is not to get on stage and try to prove why zebras are purple.
- Your goal is to determine what color zebras really are.
This may seem like common sense.
But that is not the mindset many operate with.
Instead, many think:
‘Zebras have to be purple. Everyone else is wrong!’
This attitude leads to fear.
When you try to win a debate, it reduces your chances of winning.
Trying to win a debate is like listening in a conversation to respond.
What happens is that you miss crucial information due to a lack of perspective.
Therefore, be in curiosity mode.
To be in curiosity mode, operate with the narrative that the opponent is smart.
It is difficult to assign someone intelligence when we have different fundamental beliefs.
But assign them intelligence anyways.
It allows you to think critically and make better points.
Making Your Points
Thus far, we have paraphrased our opponent by being in curiosity mode.
Let’s say they are spitting straight nonsense.
Now what?
Well, now we make our points.
A point is a logical case for something.
Logic is a series of sequences.
- Because of this, this happened.
For us to make a case, we need to know about the topic at hand.
I’m assuming you know the topic because you accepted the debate.
Don’t only know your side, know your opponent’s side as well!
From there, it’s about using simple language to dismantle the opponent’s points.
It’s best to personalize our logic to their lives to help them better understand the point.
Why are they wrong about?
Take your bias out of it.
‘So, you’re saying zebras are purple. Correct? Do you have any evidence for this?… Thus far, the evidence we have from a multitude of sources proves that zebras are black and white. To help you understand this, I have bought pictures. If you think the pictures are photoshopped, I booked 2 tickets to the zoo so you can see zebras with your sense organs.’
We are using examples that are relevant to the points made by our opponent.
Talking about the pigmentation of the zebra and going super technical may work in some occasions.
But often, it’s better to have a conversation rather than use hyper-targeted phrases.
This makes it easier for you and the other parties who are consuming your points.
How to Deal with Hot Heads
Many times, the other person is not going to be welcoming.
They are going to get very angry when their worldview is challenged.
That’s something that should be expected.
When you expect something, and it happens, you aren’t rattled.
When you don’t expect something, and it happens, you are rattled.
In debates, many are going in with the intention of winning.
They perceive you as the enemy.
Therefore, they are moving with a lot of fear of looking like a bozo.
When someone gets angry, it’s a good thing for you.
That means your logical points made them shaky.
Best to capitalize on their anger with timely humor.
Humor is what sways the perception toward your favor.
It allows you to approach the situation from a calm perspective, rather than be a hothead back.
This is the “politicking” side of debating.
In an ideal world, it would always come down to the best ideas.
But when talking about logical points with humans, emotions are often introduced.
Go figure!
Rather than fight it, embrace it.
Debate When Needed
I have a simple philosophy:
- Unless I get paid to change someone’s mind, then I’m not doing it.
Because people who learn to debate often abuse it.
They turn ordinary discussions into debates.
This is annoying to everyone at sight.
Avoid letting your debating skills plummet your social skills.
A debate is about which side is closer to the truth.
The person who is closer to the truth will ultimately sleep better at night.
To determine what is true, we have the study of philosophy.
To learn more about how philosophy works and why it is important, be sure to check out this article.
– ArmaniTalks 
