How to Deal with Rude People
It doesn’t matter if you’re from the East.
Or from the West.
At one point or another, you’ll deal with a rude person.
What makes this situation tricky is that ‘rudeness’ is subjective.
What is considered rude for one person is not considered rude for another person.
If subjectivity is involved, how can a person deal with this social problem?
By first not calling it a ‘problem.’
View dealing with any personality type as an ‘opportunity.’
‘An opportunity for what, Armani?’
An opportunity to exercise your social muscle.
Different personality types build your database.
From that database is where charisma arises.
What is Personality?
Personality is a collection of a person’s thoughts, feelings & behavior.
This is dynamic throughout the day.
If you analyze your life, you’ll notice that you’re a different person in the morning vs the evening.
Only in a matter of hours, personality has shifted.
Viewing a person’s personality as dynamic helps build patience.
Because you realize that you’re seeing one of their MANY faces.
With this understanding, it’s easier to not make any rash decisions.
On the other hand, if personality is viewed as stagnant, then this person’s mishaps will be seen as a life sentence.
‘How dare this person disrespect me? This is how they always are!’
Cultural Norms & Rudeness
What is viewed as a cultural norm is seen as rude in different parts of the country.
For my business, I work with talent from Upwork and Fiver.
I’ve noticed when I work with Russians & Arabs, they are often brash & direct.
At times, they write in all caps.
And yell at me!
At first, I used to think they were being rude.
How dare they disrespect me like that?
But over time, I noticed that a good amount of them have a direct delivery style.
I started to see that was their mode of communication.
These are some of the most reliable people I work with.
When they give a deadline, they meet it or deliver before time.
Therefore, I can work with their brash personalities.
It’s normal to me now.
However, I wouldn’t have built these relationships if I got offended.
Nowadays, with the rise of global communications, the world is getting smaller.
We live in a Global Village.
Realize what is considered rude for you may be a way of life for them.
Real Rude People
Other times, it’s not a cultural thing.
This is when a rude person is legitimately rude.
In situations like this, I’ve noticed 2 options.
It takes judgment to know when to apply which.
The first option is to assume they don’t know any better.
‘That’s your solution?? This is too basic!’
Not quite. It’s rather advanced and requires elevated emotional control.
To assume they do not know any better allows you to assign yourself with the higher social value.
It’s like a parent who is teaching their kid how to ride a bike.
The parent shows elevated levels of patience with the kid.
Likewise, when assuming someone doesn’t know any better, it’s easier to feel calm.
And unlock a new mode of thinking.
Sometimes, you’ll notice the person was in a temporary mood & will snap out of it.
Other times, this person has an awkward personality.
Rude people who are rude to the core lack social savviness & should be treated as not knowing better.
The second option is to let them know of their rudeness.
Especially if you are routinely encountering them.
This time, it’s all about having a 1 on 1 conversation rather than calling them out in public.
The 1 on 1 setting is a basic tenet of conflict resolution.
If they can’t even handle that…
Time to give a cold shoulder or distance.
Thick Skin & Abundance Mindset
‘What if I’m dealing with a rude person who I can’t avoid? I tried talking to them but that didn’t work.’
Well bud, then it’s time to toughen the skin & exercise an abundance mindset.
Imagine you are eating grapes.
You have several of them.
However, one of them is bruised & does not look good to eat.
Are you going to lose sleep over it?
‘Of course not.’
‘Because I have plenty of grapes left.’
Exactly. Same with social skills.
If you have a life where you created opportunities to know people, interact with people & deal with different personalities.
Should a handful of annoying personalities ruin your mood?
Social skills & thick skin go hand in hand.
An overly sensitive person will find it difficult to deal with a variety of personalities.
They will get offended too quickly & others will get a strange vibe around them.
In my book Street Smarts, I share 101 short stories to help build emotional resilience.
You can grab the book on Amazon:
Thick skin builds confidence.
View rude people as reps to become even tougher.
Do not let them alter your mood.
Find different ways to string together words despite encountering someone who is annoying.
While others lose patience with this guy…
You use them as a workout to build your charm further.
Building Social Intelligence
Social skills are built in the most unorthodox of ways.
Sometimes, it’s easy as having a simple conversation.
Other times, it’s as bumpy as navigating around a rude person.
View both routes with a positive lens.
Gratitude is not only about hoping for wins.
Gratitude is about perceiving wisdom in the wins & losses.
It’s a different mindset.
A mindset that toughens the skin & turns you into a social chameleon.
‘A social chameleon?’
Yes, a person who adapts.
There is a genius to adaptability.
It’s a sign that a person is going places.
Along with consistency, large imagination, athlete’s discipline…
Adaptability is one of the top invisible soft skills to have.
Others cannot see when you have warped your personality to fit the context.
But you know.
For more practical insights to build Social Skills, check out the Charisma King.
In this eBook, you will learn how to:
-Create compelling conversations.
-Deal with rude people & still thrive.
-Build a thick skin to alter your personality at will.