How to be More Talkative and Outgoing
‘Is my resting bitch face a problem?’
Yea, it is.
‘It is??’
Yep.
‘What if I’m nervous?’
Doesn’t matter.
Humans process tons of information with their eyes.
When they see a face scowling at them, their subconscious mind is not fond of that.
Likewise, being too quiet is a problem too.
It doesn’t matter if you’re nervous.
The other person will view you as disinterested.
‘Is it possible to learn how to be more talkative and outgoing?’
Absolutely. Personality is dynamic.
This dynamic personality can change once the intent has been set.
Problems with Being too Quiet
There’s a big difference between being quiet and being shy.
Shy is when someone is self-conscious to speak, which causes them to not use too many words.
Quiet is when the person is not self-conscious to speak, they are just short with their sentences.
Externally, both parties seem the same.
Internally, one is composed while the other feels chaos.
You may be shy.
You may be quiet.
The person talking to you just knows one thing…
You’re not saying much.
When you don’t say much, your impact is reduced.
This leads to a fly-on-the-wall treatment.
Where others talk over you & act as though you don’t exist.
From their minds, they often think you’re disinterested.
A person who is shy or quiet has felt unheard before.
Not only in a physical sense, but on an emotional level.
How to Be More Talkative
Formulas make the world go round.
A good formula adds clarity to ambiguous topics.
‘Do you have a formula for learning how to be more talkative?’
Yes.
Talk at least 25% of the time.
You can listen for the rest.
If you’re really quiet, then it’s better to amp this number up some.
Where you go to the 45% range.
Even 55%.
Being talkative doesn’t mean talking for the entire time.
Instead, it’s talking enough to make your presence felt.
‘But how am I going to exactly measure the 25% range?’
You don’t “exactly” measure it.
You just get a “general” feel.
‘A general feel? I can’t do that!’
As a matter of fact, you can. Heck, you do it all the time.
I doubt you are constantly looking at the speedometer when driving.
Instead, you get a general gist of the pace of the speed limit & adjust accordingly.
Similarly, get a holistic flow for the entire conversation.
And aim to speak at least 25% of the time.
Anything less than that will have you looking disinterested.
What to Talk About
‘Now that I think about it…I’m so quiet because I don’t know what to talk about.’
Actually, you do know what to talk about.
You’re just facing the wrong direction….
You, my friend, are the man in the desert looking at the sand with the sun shining on your face.
Dehydrated, tired & irritated.
You wonder when you’ll get some water so you can feel hydrated.
Dummy…
Turn around.
There is a waterfall RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
When we constantly focus on ourselves, that’s equivalent to looking at the sand.
When we focus on the other person, that’s equivalent to looking at the water.
The other person is the target.
If you don’t make the other person the target, then the default narrative of the mind will be:
-How can I get them to like me?’
^this is a needy narrative that makes you act nervous.
Plus, it reduces the decision tree of possible conversation material.
Turn around. Look at the endless stream of water from the waterfall.
Redirect your focus to the other person. Look at the endless stream of ideas they provide.
Talking pretty much comes down to:
-Questions.
-Contributions.
All conversations are like that!
Either you’re asking a question, asking them to expand, or you’re providing commentary/stories.
Ask:
‘How can I level up my questioning & contributing skills?’
^This question gives a clear path on how to be more talkative without coming off as an ass.
By the way, I made a conversation skills for dummies class.
You can access it here.
How to Be More Outgoing
‘Okay, so you explained how to be more talkative. My next question is, how can I be more outgoing?’
Avoid separating the 2.
They are the same.
Do you think a basketball player asks:
‘Okay, I have to get the ball in the hoop. Now, when do I practice?’
You’ll look at the basketball player like an idiot.
Fam, you putting the ball in the hoop happens in practice!!
Likewise, to be more talkative, you have to be more outgoing.
Don’t view being outgoing as a chore.
Instead, view it as practice.
‘Do you have a mental hack on viewing social skills as practice?’
Yes.
Call strangers, ‘social opportunities’ rather than ‘strangers.’
When you call someone a stranger, it creates a jaded vibe.
Avoid that.
Social opportunities creates a pull towards them.
With the subconscious mind, we don’t want to be TOO detailed.
A general word like ‘opportunity’ is enough to drive the body into action.
When we think ‘social opportunities’, it’s easier to strike up conversations with strangers, coworkers we rarely talk to, or friends we haven’t talked to in a while.
This leads to more effort from our end.
Practice It Till You Become It
So, we understand that being quiet & shy is not good.
Especially, if we are striving for greatness!
If you don’t want more, then be shy & quiet.
However, in order to make an impact, using words is a must.
Not too many words to a point where you’re rambling or bragging.
Instead, enough to make your presence felt.
The general gist of 25% is the perfect pace to get warmed up.
From there, we find our social opportunities & hit them with some questions & contributions.
That’s how we can learn how to be more talkative & outgoing.
Through practice & repetition.
We become the knowledge that we put faith in and the behaviors we continuously act out.
Therefore, personality can change.
We just need to set the intent for that.
Enjoyed this article?
If so, then get more strategies into developing an attractive personality in the Charisma King eBook!
GET HERE
– ArmaniTalks 
