How to Be An Attractive Man for DUMMIES

There’s a big difference between handsome and attractive.

One is physical.

The other is behavioral.

I learned the difference during my transition from the 11th grade to the 12th grade.

For most of my life, I was the ugly duckling.

Short, skinny, and pants pulled all the way up to the chest.

By the 11th grade, I had a growth spurt from 5’3 to 6’0.

The height part was resolved.

But now I was skinner than ever.

By the time I hit 12th grade, the game began changing.

I spent that summer working out nonstop and gained a solid amount of muscle.

6’0, 185 pounds, and decent shape.

Now I was handsome.

‘Excellent news!’

Not quite.

‘Why not?’

It’s because my behavior hadn’t changed.

I was still acting like a 5’3 dork.

That’s when I learned that good-looking people are not always attractive.

• The process of becoming attractive is malleable.

That’s lesson 1^.

If you want it, you will get it.

Just need the right strategy.

Let’s have a little pep talk.

Why Behavior Is Important

Have you ever met one of those people who kept focusing on what they didn’t have?

They went into detail about what was lacking.

All for them to undermine what they did have.

That’s why some men are unable to be attractive.

They confuse handsome with behavior.

Handsome can mean strong jawline, height, nice hair.

Attractive means, sense of humor, loyalty to core principles, and a strong fashion sense.

There are certain things that are static and certain things that are dynamic.

Static typically falls within physical.

Dynamic typically falls within behavioral.

‘Wait Armani, what about the gym?’

What about it?

‘Is someone who has a nice body, handsome or attractive?’

Both.

Going to the gym is more attractive than handsome.

Because when you break it down, it’s a dynamic force.

A tubby fat piece of shit can easily go to the gym and shed a few pounds.

They can take it a level further and build muscle over time.

A person who takes care of their body signals to others, behavior.

The behavior of eating clean, committing to a ritual, pushing past pain, etc.

A nice body is way more than being handsome.

So when thinking about how to be an attractive man, think in dynamic terms.

What is within your control?

3 Elements of an Attractive Personality

I came to realize that there is an inner to outer transformation that all of us should have.

Some can do it the opposite way, where they go out to in.

My viewpoint of inner to outer is:

• Mindset.
• Social skills.
• Fashion.

Let’s spend some time discussing these 3 variables.

It may seem very simple, but these 3 will give you a framework on how to be an attractive man.

Mindset

The key to mindset is to be the advancing personality that Wallace Wattles talks about in his book, the Science of Getting Rich.

Long story short, this is the personality of the person who leaves others better off than he found them.

To have an advancing personality, you need to first become valuable.

Strive to be the master of a certain skill set.

Check out the Level Up Mentality to learn how to acquire skills at rapid rates.

With this simple paradigm, you make yourself valuable.

‘Just one skillset?’

That’s an illusion.

In the process of trying to improve 1 skill set, you improve micro-skills along the way.

A person who is trying to become a better filmmaker will become a better reader, listener, planner of projects, recruiter of talent, and more.

This is how a person builds value over time.

A beautiful dynamic force that allows others to enjoy your presence.

Competent people inspire calmness and joy in others.

Whenever you talk to someone, picture they have a sticky note on their forehead which says:

‘Make my life just a LITTLE bit better, please.’

An attractive personality not only reads that sign… but acts on it.

Social Skills

In my book, Charisma King, I talk about how social skills are a byproduct of self-improvement.

If you followed the last step of becoming the advancing personality, social skills are a byproduct.

Sure, there are certain things you can polish up.

It’s like a person who goes to the gym, gets his sleep, and has awesome nutrition.

At this point, the supplements are going to take him to the next level.

Same with social skills.

You took the time to invest in yourself, connect with others, and leave them better off.

At this point, there are certain social supplements.

I can give you a long speech about tons of different things to have.

But if I would boil it down to the essentials, I’d say to double down on humor and listening skills.

These 2 are very much slept on.

‘Why do you think that is?’

Well, with humor, people have this misconception that others were just born funny.

Completely false.

Humor is a trained skill.

You’re probably already funny,.

If you’ve made 5 people who do not know each other laugh, then you can consider yourself a funny guy.

Just repeat what you did with them on others.

The reason people don’t take listening seriously is because they think it’s inferior to speaking.

False.

Good listening allows great speaking to fall out.

I’m not going to say anymore.

Fashion

You ever seen that ugly dude who dresses up?

That person knows something that few people do.

‘Which is?’

Fashion influences perception.

James is a 9 out of 10 in looks.

Jake is a 6.5 out of 10 in looks.

Put James in dirty clothes which don’t fit. He smells awful.

Put Jake in a custom suit that fits beautifully. His cologne has a radiant scent.

Now ask a group of 10 girls who they find more attractive.

Most will say Jake without hesitation.

I’m no fashion expert.

But I have noticed that if your physique is on point, then you just need to wear clothes that fit.

Look for a simple design where you don’t look like a clown.

That simple design hanging off a sculpted body is a dynamic move.

‘Does scent serve as a part of fashion?’

It sure does. The right scent can make you 3 inches taller.

You’re learning how to be an attractive man with perception warping.

Learn How To Be Attractive For Yourself

The reason I took you through an Inner to Outer transition was so you could aim to be attractive for yourself, first.

Initially, that may not be the case.

You may want to be attractive for someone else.

However, I recommend falling back on that.

You become a puppet who hands the invisible strings to someone else when you change your behaviors to appeal to them.

Learn how to be an attractive man because you know that it will create more opportunities for you.

You may not have all the physical gifts.

Or who knows, maybe you do.

But why does any of that matter if you’re not doubling down on what you CAN control?

• Advance others.
• Sharpen listening skills and a sense of humor.
• Wear quality clothes which fit.

These tips may seem too simple.

However, when it’s all said and done, it’s the simple tips that lead to the most massive changes.

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– ArmaniTalks