How Media Ruins Our Perception of Romance
The following post is from the ArmaniTalks Newsletter
I have a hot take.
What porn is for guys, romance movies are for women.
Porn distorts guys perception of sex; romance movies distort women’s perception of love.
When a guy watches too much porn, he sees stuff on film and thinks that’s how everyone has sex.
He doesn’t realize that porn stars are paid to arouse people.
There is a director who specifically shoots scenes to create a narrative.
There are re-shoots as well.
The guy constantly watching porn doesn’t know this.
They only see the final product.
Soon, they want their girl to begin acting like the girls from the porn scenes.
When the girl can’t keep up with that lifestyle, the guy wonders if something is wrong.
Yes, something is wrong.
Not with the girl, but with the guy!
The guy got fooled into thinking adult content is reality.
The same thing happens with girls and romance films.
A lot of girls say that they want more romance.
When you ask them what they mean by romance, they have a blank stare on their face.
They don’t know.
So, they muster some sentences together.
‘Um, you know…Like passion, and uh…romance.’
This leaves the guy confused.
The girl doesn’t have a concrete understanding of what she means by romance.
Life law:
- When we have a fuzzy interpretation of a subject, we lean on the media.
Soon, these girls begin watching shows like Bridgerton, Disney movies, and Bollywood movies.
They see how the actors in the movies are so romantic for their women.
They write poetry.
Sing songs to them.
And have this “intense look” when staring at their partner.
The girl soon begins to think:
‘This is what romance is about!’
She gets that perception of romance and applies it on her current guy.
One day, they are on a road trip, and the guy is driving the entire time.
When they have to get gas, the guy gets out and pumps the gas.
While he’s pumping gas outside, she thinks:
’We’ve been in this car ride for 2 hours and he hasn’t serenaded me once. This guy is not romantic at all!’
She gives the guy the silent treatment for the rest of the trip.
Here’s the thing to understand…
Guys express themselves via actions rather than words.
Him driving the entire time and pumping gas is his idea of romance.
But let’s be real.
If romance movies were about guys pumping gas for their girls, that wouldn’t sell.
So, these film directors spice up the narrative and the girls fall for the fantasy version of romance.
I’m not saying that guys don’t express themselves via words, where they will write a poem or a song for their girl.
But they will often do that on big moments like a wedding, birthday, or anniversary.
They will rarely do it for something small like a road trip.
However, when the girl consumes the final product of romance movies, she subconsciously begins thinking that life is supposed to be one big fairy tale.
For more essays on communication skills, check out the ArmaniTalks Free Daily Newsletter
