How Introverts and Extroverts Rest Differently
The following post is from Reborn: 101 Short Stories, Essays, and Insights to Improve Communication Skills
Rest is something that we do to unwind.
How we unwind will depend on our personality types.
This is an important post if you are dating your exact opposite personality type.
Introverts like to chill by themselves and relax.
For them, relaxing will include reading a book, watching TV, and playing some video games.
For extroverts, they like to be outdoors or talking when they relax.
They want to go to the mall, hang out with Sam & Julie, or walk around in a plaza.
These different styles of relaxation will cause initial conflicts.
There is a lot of talk about “understanding your partner’s love language.”
But there isn’t enough talk about “understanding your partner’s relaxation language.”
If you don’t understand how your partner relaxes, then you will see things that aren’t there.
Let’s say you have another couple friend that you chill with a lot.
These are people you can be yourself around.
After a long workday, you the extrovert, tell your introverted partner:
“Get ready, we are chilling with Sam & Julie.”
They immediately begin making excuses.
You will either think that they don’t like Sam & Julie anymore, or they are turning into a recluse.
But evaluate it from their lens.
They have been working all day.
Now they want to relax.
Despite being cool with Sam & Julie, ANY form of talking is seen as work by them.
They don’t want to think of conversation material and respond back to things.
They just want to unwind…. alone.
Other times, the situation will be flipped.
Where you the introvert wants to chill, but your partner wants to walk around in a plaza really bad.
You initially think they want to walk around in a plaza because they want to buy something.
But they don’t.
They just want to get out of the house.
Being in the house is mentally draining them.
Initially, it’s hard to find a middle ground.
Because one person’s relaxation is another person’s work and vice versa.
Every now and then, let the other person win.
Go against the grain of what you would normally do.
Expect they will let you win in the future.
Get up off your butt and go to that plaza, my friend.
Cancel on Sam and Julie and just chill at home today.
Compromise a couple of times until you guys can read each other’s relaxation languages without words being used.
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