I’m sure you have a group called “friends” & “best friends.”

There is another layer, “acquaintances.”

When someone is referred to as an acquaintance, it may be seen as an insult.

“Is that all I am to you? I thought I was more,” they say.

While for me, I jump for joy when someone calls me an acquaintance.

I like that title.

For my friends, I am picky.

Friends are normally someone I knew for a long time.

It is a process.

3 years ago, I went to a wedding where I was one of the best men.

You heard that correctly.

‘One of the best men.’

Meaning, there were multiple of us.

Not only were there many best men…

There were also many groomsmen.

I believe 20 plus!

I ask the groom, ‘are all these your friends??’

He proudly nodded his head.

‘They are all my friends,’ he said.

During the limo ride to the wedding, the groom was the last one to get in, so he didn’t have a seat.

Just imagine… you’re about to get married and you don’t have a seat in your own limo!!

So he went to the back area of the limo by himself.

I joined to keep him company.

I’ll call him Ivan.

I looked at Ivan and said:

‘Damn man, you really have a lot of friends. I’m the opposite. I have a few.’

He looked at me suspiciously and asked:

‘Am I your friend?’

I said yes.

In fact, Ivan was one of the Untouchables.

These are my friends whose backs I always have & I know they have my back as well.

A few years ago, one of the Untouchables got busted for drunk driving.

He was on the verge of getting a great job too.

With the DUI case, his job was at risk.

Plus, he was being asked to pay for lawyer services too.

He asked me for 2500$ dollars.

Without hesitation, I asked him for his PayPal address.

He said he’d pay me back with interest.

But I didn’t care about that.

He was an Untouchable & we have each other’s backs.

We didn’t mess with the bond.

However, within the past couple of years, one of the Untouchable’s jeopardized that.

‘How so?’

He became too volatile.

I’ll call this fellow Cane.

Just like Ivan was my first friend when I came to the country.

Cane was one of my first friends in college.

He would routinely invite me to places.

His demeanor was easy to get along with because he was short & looked like Harry Potter.

Not an intimidating personality.

Cane was the reason I didn’t spend a lot of nights alone at the dorm.

He kept me social & helped me meet people.

We stayed friends for many years.

He met the other Untouchables.

The fraternity only strengthened.

However, 4 years later, Cane became an alcoholic.

Not any kind of alcoholic.

But the belligerent one.

The problem with Cane was he didn’t know he had a problem.

He’d find a way to ruin everyone’s night & then the next day, he’d forget all about his mishaps.

At first, this was comical for us.

Mainly because when Cane would act like a jackass, he’d make the rest of us look good in front of the girls.

We all had a walking Icebreaker among us!

Later on, it was getting dangerous.

Cane had the Little Man’s Complex.

Always trying to prove how he was a tough guy when he got drunk.

He’d pick fights with bigger guys.

And expect his friends to have his back.

A few times, we diffused the fights.

Other times, Cane did something dumb when we weren’t around.

He once spit on a big bouncer’s face & got knocked out.

I missed that incident because I was traveling.

By the time I came back, Cane was wearing braces.

As his alcoholism got worst, he became a walking conundrum.

Mainly because he wasn’t a textbook alcoholic.

It wasn’t as though his life was in complete shambles.

Career-wise, he was on top of the world.

Highly eloquent.

And he financed his little sister’s studies & would send money to his parents, and grandparents.

But when he’d drink, all that went out the window.

For such a little guy, he knew how to put away bottles.

No clue what that did to his health.

As more years went by, Cane became toxic.

He’d stir up drama, fall back & laugh.

He’d talk shit about the other Untouchables to outsiders to make us look bad & make himself look good.

At one point, he moved to Orlando & stayed with one of the Untouchables.

Apparently, Cane stole from him & kicked his neighbor’s dog when he was drunk.

In routine fashion, Cane denied it.

At a certain point, a decision has to be made.

In my book, Level Up Mentality, I talk about the importance of cutting off dead weight when leveling up so you can progress.

Cane was becoming dead weight.

It was time to cut him off.

Can’t repaint someone when they showed their true colors.

Toxic people often don’t leave without a fight.

They put up a fight & make you think you’re making the wrong move.

After dealing with communication skills & human dynamics, I know bullshit when I see it.

I wasn’t falling for Cane’s bs.

But a few of the other Untouchables were.

They’d say:

‘Cane definitely evolved! This time, I’m certain of it!!’

Only to be disappointed in the near future.

After a series of fuckups, a few of them realized his true ways.

All the other untouchables still remain intact.

But one has fallen.

Recently, I checked my LinkedIn.

As I was scrolling through the feed, I saw a picture of Cane.

Apparently, he started his business.

Last I heard of him, he moved to Houston.

But now he’s back in Tampa.

He also started a podcast.

Hm…intriguing.

I found his podcast & listened to some episodes.

20-minute shows where he hosted the entire talk by himself.

It’s been 3 years since I talked to Cane.

But as I heard his podcast, I felt nostalgic.

It reminded me of 2009 when he’d call & ask if I wanted to go to Argos (student dining hall) with him and his squad.

Saying bye to a friend is rarely easy.

One of these days, we may catch up.

And pick up right where we left off.

I have ArmaniTalks.

His podcast is called CaneTalks.

Obviously, I made up the name Cane for privacy reasons.

At this stage, we’d have a lot in common.

The difference between a friend and a great friend is that with a great friend… it doesn’t feel awkward when y’all don’t talk for years.

When you do meet up, you guys pick up right where you left off.

However, from my experience, it’s smart to let people do their own thing, discover/create themselves & see where the cards fall.

I’m not the kind of guy who’s too forgiving to the point where I let snake bites happen many times.

There are people I did a North Carolina on.

(North Carolina is slang for “No Contact” which means ghosting).

Other times, I understand addictions, life circumstances & limiting beliefs temporarily get in the way.

I’ll always have a soft spot for the Fallen Untouchable.