Feminine vs Wifey: What’s the Difference?
The following chapter is from Exponential: 101 Short Stories, Essays, and Insights to Improve Communication Skills
A few years ago, I had a Malu friend who was going through a dilemma.
He had 2 girls who were interested in him, but he had no clue who to choose.
One girl’s name was Nancy.
She was a free spirit, soft, and had a bubbly, feminine personality.
The other girl’s name was Roshni.
She was disciplined, serious, and the oldest sibling.
It was clear the 2 girls were different.
My Malu friend was confused.
I’ll call the Malu friend, Geio.
Nancy was not Malu, she was North Indian.
Roshni was Malu.
Geio’s mom hated Nancy but loved Roshni.
The mom told Geio:
‘Please don’t marry Nancy, she’s no good for you.’
Geio was infatuated with Nancy.
He logically knew that Roshni was better for him…
However, he couldn’t stop following Nancy around.
He eventually went onto choose Nancy.
In the beginning, their relationship was smooth.
Over time, Geio learned a hard lesson.
Feminine and wifey are not the same!
Feminine is an energy.
Wifey is a skillset.
I’ve seen situations where there was a feminine girl who had no wifey tendencies.
I’ve seen situations where there was a wifey girl who had no feminine energy.
I define feminine energy as fun.
Someone who is easy going, easy to make laugh, and has a receptive energy.
I define wifey as a skillset.
The best way to determine if a person is wifey is to ask the question:
‘Will I feel comfortable leaving my future kids with her for 2 years while I’m away in Antarctica?’
If the answer is yes, then you have a potential wifey in your presence!
Many men lose all long-term thinking when they are surrounded by feminine energy.
That’s why Geio constantly saw red flags in Nancy, but he was still mesmerized.
He was reacting with his hindbrain, not thinking with his prefrontal cortex.
I talked to Geio a few times during that stint.
He’d ask me for advice.
Each time, my advice went like this:
‘Dude, Roshni is Malu like you, your mom loves her, and she’s not bad looking. What’s the problem?’
Geio would say:
‘You’re right bro, you’re right.’
What he really wanted to say was:
‘Roshni is too serious! She doesn’t have any warmth! Even though she brings me meals late at night when I’m studying, I just don’t have fun with her like I do with Nancy.’
After Geio chose Nancy, he was presented with a problem.
- Being with a feminine girl who has little to no wifey skillsets is like picking up another job!
Geio went from being a great student to a sloppy student once he started dating Nancy.
He’d have to do too many things for her because she’d always lean on him.
Geio learned that hyper-feminine energy comes with a cost.
The girl leans on the guy more.
So, you better be strong enough for her to lean on!
We were in college at the time, so he wasn’t ready for that responsibility.
Being feminine is an energy.
I know someone is feminine when they make their partner feel like a comedian.
Wifey is a skillset.
These are a series of processes that can be learned over time.
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