Fake Friends vs Real Friends
Have you ever had that moment when a good friend turned into a snake?
I’m sure you have.
After a certain amount of life experience, we all get hit with a betrayal.
It’s not a fun feeling.
Being betrayed by someone who you had a love for is tough.
And in many cases, it is a wake-up call.
Fake friends vs real friends.
How is one to spot the difference?
You know I keep it real on this blog.
In many cases, people turned on you because they were rotten to the core.
But in many cases, it was your fault.
In today’s article, I’m going to shed some insight into the world of social dynamics & how you can prevent getting bitten by snakes left & right.
Each snake bite brings a lesson, yes.
But if we can spot the difference between fake friends vs real friends, then it’s our duty to preserve our time.
What Causes Someone to Turn?
I’ve had my fair share of betrayals in my life.
Growing up, I had no clue what happened.
But as you get older, you begin to see the patterns forming in human nature.
There are predominantly 2 reasons why people will turn on you.
- They are rotten to the core.
- It was your fault.
For the first group, they often leave clues.
They are always involved in a tornado of drama.
Always hating on more successful people.
Can’t seem to hold any friend after a certain period of time.
These people are rotten to the core.
I have no clue why you hang out with them.
Well, scratch that, I do.
Many are charismatic & fun to get along with.
But they do a good job in hiding who they are.
The second reason why people turn on you is because of YOU.
This is when someone feels anger & fear towards you.
Say you and this friend are chilling in a group.
They are making a point, and you disagree midway & tell them to shut up.
This person does not want to cause a scene & is a little frightened by you, so they do as you say.
But you stung their ego.
Over time, they will feel resentment.
And unless y’all solve the issue like adults, then this real friend will turn into a fake friend.
What Multiple Backstabbings Should Tell You
If you are someone who gets backstabbed over & over again, then you need to take a look at the mirror.
I’m a firm believer in the law of attraction.
The energy you put out there is the same energy that you attract back.
If you only attract fake friends, then you may be sending out the wrong vibes.
There are 2 wrong vibes I see people send out.
- Naive empathy.
- Toxic behavior.
Naive empathy is when you keep forgiving left & right.
You use very little common sense & accept everyone!
Although others warn you this person is fake & you see the signs for yourself, you let your emotions overpower your logic.
You feel like you’ll be the ‘magical’ person to change them.
Accept reality for what it is.
Toxic behavior is when you leave someone drained rather than empowered after interacting with them.
If you are someone who sends out bad vibes to this universe, you’ll get the same thing in return.
Scarcity minds attract scarcity minds.
If it happens every now and then, don’t sweat it.
If it happens multiple times, it’s a pattern.
Regardless, you need to take a few steps back & work on yourself.
Develop your life & self-image.
Improve your value, so you can attract value.
I discuss practical methods of building your value in my book Level Up Mentality.
Quality over Quantity mindset
Once you begin improving your value, people are going to be swarming you left and right.
Everyone wants the time of the winner.
At this point, it is going to be harder than ever to spot the difference between a fake friend vs a real friend.
Therefore, from the get-go, you need to adopt a quality over quantity mindset.
Our entire lives, we heard the mainstream peddle the notion that popular people have a LOT of friends.
But this simply isn’t true.
In order to turn a human into a friend, you need to invest a lot of time, energy & attention into that soul.
Time, energy & attention are all finite resources.
Therefore, there’s only a certain amount that you can spend.
If you try to turn 50 people into your best friends, then you will develop surface-level bonds.
These surface-level bonds will attract many snakes into your squad.
Fake friends are imminent.
On the contrary, if you invest those finite resources into 5 people, then you’ll develop deep level bonds.
You’ll be able to spot loyalty & filter more efficiently.
Real friends are much more likely now.
What Happens if You Still Get Snake Bites?
I wish I can give you a blueprint on how to never get snake bites.
But unfortunately, I can’t.
I can give you all the precautions in the world, but at the end of the day, humans will never be fully predictable.
If you took the time to invest in yourself, attract quality people, took time to filter a strong friend circle, but still got backstabbed, then I have one suggestion:
Sometimes, dark moments like this are not in your control.
Take some time to analyze what happened.
And ask ‘what’ questions vs ‘why’ question.
Don’t be like ‘why me?’
-This will make you feel more defeated.
Rather say, ‘what can I learn from this?’
-This makes you feel more empowered.
Betrayal gives you wisdom that a book can never give you.
And to be honest, each snake bite made me more socially intelligent in the long run.
So I thank everyone who has betrayed me.
It’s sort of like the trash taking itself out.
When you can view it with that mindset, then you will come out mentally tougher.
Fake friends vs Real Friends: The Social Journey
Snakes are abundant, loyalty is scarce.
- Don’t trust fast, trust slow.
- Don’t cut slow, cut fast.
These are life laws that you need to learn if you want to make the most of your time.
You can’t control someone else’s behavior, but you can always control yours.
Therefore, take the necessary precautions & control what you are able to.
And learn from the rest.
Build a strong social circle by following the tips in this article.
Overcoming each fake friend will allow you to appreciate the real friends much more.
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