Do You Know Your Best Friend as Well as You Think?

Do You Know Your Best Friend as Well as You Think?

The following post is from Tough Love: 101 Short Stories, Essays, and Insights to Improve Communication Skills

There is a friend I had since I was 5 years old.

He has been with me for years.

 

I’ve had a lot of friends throughout my life.

But this particular friend has been with me thru the ups & downs.

Not too long ago, I was the best man at his wedding.

 

Well, it came to my attention recently that he had 2 birthdays.

I used to think he was 1 year older than me.

But he is 2 years older.

 

‘Lol, why does he have 2 birthdays?’

It’s a pretty common thing for people moving from overseas.

Don’t know the exact details, but if you ask your foreign friends if they have 2 birthdays, many will say yes.

 

Added to this, plenty also have 2 names.

Their foreign name & their American name.

 

I know a kid whose Bengali name is Shafin.

And his American name is Mishkad.

You can tell he took an L for his American name.

I’d just go with Shafin.

 

When this friend told me that he had 2 birthdays…I had to pause for a second.

Then I thought…

 

I’ve known this guy for over 24 years, and I never wished him happy birthday!

 

That was a stunning realization for me.

 

He isn’t active on social media and never brings up when he was born.

It’s just something that never came up.

 

Both of us were laughing.

Nevertheless, it bought a stunning insight.

 

This is a guy I grew up with.

It showed that you never fully know someone.

 

You just keep knowing them.

 

For us to go 24 years without ever a birthday wish was insane.

When I asked him, when his real birthday was, so I can mark it on my calendar…

He’s like: ‘nah don’t worry about it.’

 

Me & this guy have something in common.

I am not one of those guys who likes having things done on my birthday.

 

It’s just another day for me.

It’s another day for him too.

 

It’s deeper in terms of social dynamics though.

When thinking you have everything figured out, it’s best to assume that there can be this one BOOMERANG that comes out of nowhere, which completely throws off the understanding.

 

The black swan of the social skills world.

 

‘Geez man, this all sounds like bad news.’

Why?

‘Well, it feels like I don’t know anyone then.’

This is a good thing.

 

A couple of months back, I made a tweet somewhere along the lines of:

Stupid people try to seem smarter than they are, and smart people try to seem stupider than they are.

 

It was a misinterpreted tweet.

I was being a little facetious.

 

What I was implying was that the people we consider the smartest normally operate with the belief that they don’t know diddly squat (in terms of the bigger picture).

This allows them to maintain a sense of humility which skyrockets knowledge acquisition.

 

A lot of us often do this in terms of academics.

It’s smart to bring over this intelligence concept into the social skills world too.

 

Assume you know nothing or extraordinarily little.

Surprisingly, this makes it easier to listen, minimize assumptions & not take things as personally.

 

After learning that I didn’t know one of my closest friends had 2 birthdays…

I learned a crucial lesson.

 

You never fully know someone.

You just keep knowing them.

 

GET TOUGH LOVE: 101 SHORT STORIES, ESSAYS & INSIGHTS TO IMPROVE COMMUNICATION SKILLS!

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– ArmaniTalks 🎙️🔥

 

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