Do Single Friends Keep You Single?

A big part of life is who we are going to spend time with, from friends to partners.

The friends we have influence us to a great degree.

They will influence how we evaluate success.

If all our friends are going out, and we aren’t, then we might think something is wrong with us.

We may wonder how they can party whenever they want, but we can’t.

On the flipside, if all our friends are getting engaged, married, and soon having kids, and we aren’t, then we might feel a certain way.

Our environment influences how we perceive success.

How Single Friends Keep You Single

Let’s say you’re in a relationship, and a majority of your friends are single.

They might make it seem like the single life is the greatest life out there.

They’ll talk about it from the perspective of:

• How they can do whatever they want.
• They can stay out as late as they want.
• They have an unlimited selection of dates.

But you?

You only have one person.

In this situation, the one person is seen as the opposite of all the other great qualities that your friends are experiencing.

The one person seems to prevent you from doing anything you want, staying out as late as you want, and having unlimited choices.

This soon activates the “grass is greener” mindset:

• Is it better to be single?

That thought only becomes magnified when most of your friends are single while you are in a relationship.

On the flip side, if most of your friends are in relationships, the opposite phenomenon occurs.

Rather than wondering how you’re losing your freedom, you have more thoughts of how you’re making sacrifices for the greater good.

It’s these thoughts that eventually influence our reality.

Too many single friends might make you have the “grass is greener” mindset, while having a lot of friends in relationships helps you appreciate what you have.

Crabs in the Bucket

Now, I’m talking about those single people who constantly market how great it is to be single.

On the other hand, if your single friends are actively working to find someone, then that’s not a big deal.

They will help you appreciate what you currently have.

A lot of single friends help you appreciate your relationship more.

I’ve had friends who said:

“Dude, appreciate your girl, man. It’s tough out here for single people.”

These types of single people are great!

The ones that this blog is targeting are those who low-key want a relationship but act like they don’t.

They keep marketing how great the single life is.

How awesome it is to pop bottles, sleep with random people, and not have anyone to answer to.

These people are crabs.

If you stay too close to them, they will eventually get in your ear.

The second you have a minor argument with your spouse, they will be in your ear, making it way worse than it is:

“He did what?? Girl, I would not take that if I were you.”

Eventually, these people will make you perceive your spouse completely differently.

They will make you single.

And as soon as you are single, a lot of them will swoop in to get your partner.

Then time will pass, and you will see how hard the dating market really is.

Which Stage of Life Are You In?

Avoid discriminating against others for things they can’t control.

I used to find it annoying when a bunch of my friends were married, and I was still struggling to find the right person.

They were patient with me.

They knew I was trying.

But for a while, I wasn’t trying.

I was just focused on my business, and the thought of a relationship was in the back of my mind.

When I was starting a business, I thought my friends who were in relationships were in a sad stage.

I thought:

“Poor guys. They can’t experience the excitement of starting a business like I can. They have to give all their extra energy to their partner.”

So, I felt sorry for them.

I think they felt sorry for me too.

They probably felt bad about how I was alone and would come to couples’ parties by myself.

This was a situation where both of us felt sorry for each other.

A few years later, my business began to blossom, and I got more time back.

I wanted a relationship now.

Suddenly, the same people I was judging were the same people I admired.

They looked like success to me.

They had a stable home, a wife, kids, family events, and more.

I wanted that!

So, don’t write off a lifestyle so fast.

I’ve seen a lot of these creators who quit their jobs to travel the world.

They did that for a few years.

Nowadays, they are making videos of wanting more stability after having spontaneous adventures for so long.

Eventually, our definition of success changes.

Final Thoughts

To recap this post:

• Not all single people are bad.
• The single people to avoid are the ones who market their singlehood like a badge of honor.
• Your perception of success will change with time.

Be wary of venting too much about your relationship to your single friends.

They are often less empathetic and aware of complex relationship dynamics.

Avoid venting too much about your relationship in general.

I’ve noticed that when I was single, and my friends were in relationships, I’d be colder with my advice.

I’d tell them to throw in the towel way too quickly.

I didn’t realize I did that until I got in a relationship and asked my single friends for advice.

You don’t understand certain things until you actually go through them.

Avoid single people who have a “crabs in the bucket” mentality.

They will drag you down and kill a happy relationship.

For more insights into emotional intelligence, check out the ArmaniTalks Archives: EQ Edition

❤️Ebook

❤️Paperback/Kindle

❤️Audiobook

– ArmaniTalks