Do Affirmations Work? My Honest Response
This blog discusses communication skills.
And a big part of communication skills includes words.
Well, guess what else has words?
‘Uh…’
Affirmations.
“Affirmations” is a popular phrase in many self-improvement spheres & law of attraction circles.
Some people know what they are talking about.
And others are using the phrase without proper knowledge.
‘Who are you to say what is proper knowledge and what isn’t??’
That’s a good question.
And a smart question.
And this question will be the theme of what I want to discuss.
What is an Affirmation?
An affirmation is a:
Phrase that is repeated in order to lead to a behavioral change.
There can be different definitions in terms of wordplay.
But this covers a core idea of what it means.
‘How often is the phrase repeated?’
That depends.
For some people, they do it first thing in the morning.
For other people, they do it first thing in the morning and the last thing at night.
In many Eastern cultures, the affirmation is viewed in a different context.
It’s viewed more as a mantra.
And many of those cultures repeat the mantra continuously throughout the day to steady & purify the mind.
So repetition is a key factor of an affirmation.
And the second key is that it should lead to a change.
‘What kind of a change?’
A change in behavior that is meaningful to you.
Initially, I told you that it’s a good question that you called me out on saying that some do not have the proper knowledge.
‘Why?’
Because proper knowledge is personal to us.
Only we can decide if it works.
From Objective to Subjective
Objectivity is something that can easily be measured.
Subjectivity is more difficult to measure because of the human experiences which are involved.
In terms of repetition, that’s objective.
It’s clear to measure how many times you did it.
But in terms of subjective…
The emotions, experiences, changes in behavior, that’s more personal.
The key to remember is that affirmations are meant to spark a change.
And it’s difficult (if not impossible) to spark a long-lasting change if your emotions are not involved.
The main reason the repetition is required is because the mind learns that way.
The mind often learns via pain & repetition.
This is when a few problems occur.
‘Problems?’
Yea, let me explain.
Problems Some People Have with Affirmations
Anytime a movement get’s popularized, it attracts lazy & uninformed people.
And this group is often the loudest.
Two big problems in regards to affirmations some have are:
- being too objective.
- being too word focused.
1. Being too Objective
This group thinks repetition is all that is needed.
And they believe repetition alone will take them to the final destination.
Repetition is better than doing nothing.
However, that’s not optimal.
It’s like going to a 5-star restaurant & ordering a grand meal.
Getting your food delivered…
Just to drink the water & dip..
Food untouched.
Valuing the objective too much does not engage the subjective.
‘And how can I exactly feel an emotion? That’s hard.’
Exactly.
This is why point 2 is just as important.
2. Being too Word Focused
Words are just the tip of the iceberg.
It’s impossible to truly engage your subjective side without action.
‘Wait, I gotta put in work? I thought I was just supposed to recite some stuff…’
Nope, not at all.
The work is what engages the subjective side.
That’s when the words you were reciting starts to pick up life IN you.
‘But wait. If I need to work…Then what’s the point of affirmations at all?’
-Affirmations are like the steering wheel for the mind.
-Work is the gasoline.
For a lot of individuals, when they work, they are operating with limiting beliefs.
- I can’t do this… but guess I’ll show up anyways.
- I hate this work.
- Man, I wish I was watching a tv show fiddling with my balls just about now.
They are mechanically doing the work.
However, it’s not good work.
Not pure work.
Affirmations get the mind & body in harmony over time.
How Do I know if The Affirmations Worked?
‘Okay, you’re saying I need to put in work?’
Yes.
‘You’re saying affirmations work as a steering wheel?’
Correct.
‘Then how do I know if these affirmations are actually working for me?’
Great question.
Here’s what I noticed…
When people initially hear about affirmations, their ego gets involved.
A part of them becomes a bit greedy.
Normal.
They make a list of a WHOLE bunch of affirmations.
Like a little kid who is going to ask Santa for a bunch of gifts.
Once again, normal.
As they list out 50 affirmations…they spend days, weeks, months reciting them.
Highly disciplined.
At this point, a few people match the affirmation with work ethic.
And by few, I truly do mean few.
As some time goes by…something magical happens.
‘What?’
The affirmations are slowly becoming less and less.
‘Meaning?’
Meaning that the 50 affirmations are morphing into 3.
Which may even evolve into 1.
This is when the subconscious mind is engaged.
This is when all the excess words are falling off.
You are getting straight to the source.
From the 50 affirmations, now you know 1 is the source.
And all others are derivatives of that.
So at this point, rather than mindlessly reciting 50 affirmations.
You can mindfully recite 1 affirmation, which allows your behavior to morph drastically.
‘So were the 50 initial affirmations a waste of time?’
No. Those 50 laid down the groundwork. The infrastructure.
And now those multiple moving parts of the infrastructure is leading to the emergent property.
You needed to go thru the 50 to narrow down…
That’s what I noticed for people who did affirmations with work ethic for overtime.
For ~2+ years-ish.
If you find all 50 of your affirmations just as relevant now as you did in the beginning…
Then go with your experiences.
Final Verdict on Affirmations
Fields that require objectivity & subjectivity often say ‘it depends’ alot.
‘Do affirmations work??’
It depends.
If you match the recitation with work ethic…
Then you’ll feel the emotions over time.
The emotions are what will be responsible for behavioral transformations.
So in this case, the answer is yes.
If you are just mindlessly reciting, and sloppy with your discipline, the answer is a staggering:
Fuck no.
Nope, it will not work for you.
Ultimately, anything that has a subjective element will require you to decide the answer for yourself.
Maintain that work ethic.
And cultivate the faith.
A lot of individuals start something.
Half ass it.
Quit.
And surprisingly, these people are the most vocal.
When you ask them, do affirmations work?
They confidently say ‘trust me man, it doesn’t work.’
Smart people see thru the noise.
They try it out for themselves.
And then they live with the results.
Like the scientist of THEIR life.
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