Building Self-Awareness As a Leader
Everyone wants to be a leader.
Few want to act like a leader.
‘Are bosses and leaders the same?’
Not quite.
A boss is a title.
It’s a job position.
Others will be able to tell if you have leadership qualities to you.
Being a leader is not glamorous.
Instead, it’s a class on building self-awareness.
It’s the ability to view yourself from a 3rd party perspective.
Why is self-awareness as a leader so important?
And more importantly, how can we develop it?
What is Self-Awareness?
Normally, we are viewing life from a 1st person perspective.
We see life from our own eyes.
Self-awareness is that moment when we shift from:
- 1st person perspective -> 3rd person perspective.
Rather than viewing ourselves as the subject.
We temporarily view our mind, body & intellect as objects.
This is a profound shift in thinking.
Self-awareness is often built during times of introspection.
When we see why we act the way that we did.
‘Is self-awareness only built when dealing with ourselves?’
No.
Some of the most crucial data comes from how you deal with other people.
Others Are a Mirror to Ourselves
I knew this one kid who would always talk shit about others when it came to Fantasy Football.
Let’s call this kid Timmy.
Timmy would read blogs, listen to podcasts & educate himself in the field of football.
So, by the time the tournament came, he thought it’d be easy for him.
But that wasn’t the case.
Routinely, Timothy would get obliterated by people who didn’t take Fantasy Football that seriously.
Those kids just played for fun.
This enraged Timothy.
He began gossiping about them & creating the narrative that they got lucky.
Timothy’s behavior towards others is a direct reflection of himself.
He felt inadequate.
And the inadequacy was highlighted from the lens of Fantasy Football.
If Timothy had awareness, then he’d objectify himself.
He’d ask more questions rather than act out behaviors.
- Why do I downplay the other players?
- Why is Fantasy Football so important to me?
- And why don’t I assess how I can get better?
Self-Awareness & Leadership
Leadership is a training ground on self-awareness.
And at one point or another, we are going to be called into a leadership position.
I have good news and bad news.
Which one do you want to hear first?
‘Bad news.’
The bad news is that you’ll see most people’s behaviors do not live up to their words.
They’ll tell you one thing & do something else.
‘Okay, and the good news?’
The good news is that other people’s mishaps are GREAT opportunities to build self-awareness.
To objectify yourself, it’s best to understand the full spectrum of emotions.
Not only the emotions that you enjoy.
Picture a person who picks up a rope & toggles the end.
It will create a sinusoidal motion.
The top represents pleasant emotions.
The bottom represents the unpleasant emotions.
Our goal is to learn all parts of the rope.
How to Build Self Awareness as a Leader
In my book, Level Up Mentality, I break down how the mind works from an engineer’s perspective.
The book’s goal is to harness all emotions & direct it towards one grand goal.
The final chapter talks about the importance of RECORDING your Level Up Journey.
‘Why is recording yourself important?’
Because you view yourself as an object.
A fat kid who is losing weight without taking progress pictures is making improvements, sure.
As 3 months pass by, his friend is amazed!
‘John, how did you lose that much weight?? This is a miracle!’
When John sees how his friend reacted, he feels a ton of enthusiasm.
Now he works out even more determined.
That enthusiasm?
He could’ve felt it earlier if he kept recording his process & progress.
Recording does not mean just taking videos.
It can be writing down your thoughts.
That’s what journaling is.
A leader who does not record any form of content is like that fat kid who may or may not be making progress.
Awareness is limited.
Rage is a Compass to Build Self Awareness
Find what enrages you.
I can’t stand it when someone messes with my deadlines.
I like being on time.
That’s me.
If you are going to miss a deadline, tell me.
Keep giving me updates…
What I can’t stand is when someone promised me a certain date.
Disappears for weeks.
And comes back to say:
‘Hey, looks like I’ll need another 2 months.’
This made me so furious because I dealt with multiple people from around the world like that.
Rather than snap at them.
I decided to see why I hated to miss deadlines.
‘Why?’
Well, it wasn’t ever about the deadlines.
It was about the disrespect.
I thought those people were taking advantage of me because they didn’t respect me as a businessman.
That’s where the rage came from.
Over time, when I saw different people from around the planet behaving like this.
I realized it wasn’t personal.
It was a human nature thing.
Also, dwelling on those who missed the deadlines caused me to underappreciate those who delivered way ahead of time.
Anyways, what this taught me was to consistently ask for updates.
Not in a micro-managing sort of way.
But in a way where both parties were on the same page.
Ironically, this deepened our bond.
The talent & I were building rapport.
What enrages you?
Rather than acting out that rage…
- Figure out why you think it pissed you off so much.
- See how you can adapt.
- Reprimand the worker if needed.
You’ll see step #3 is rarely needed when you build self-awareness in step #2.
Become a Self-Aware Leader
A leader who stops being a follower is a leader who stopped being a leader.
Rather than talking down on people, learn from them.
They are your portals towards building more self-awareness.
Expect people are not going to make sense.
But expect yourself to adjust anyways.
When you can keep adjusting…
Not only do you build self-awareness as a leader.
You start to win the respect of the people you command.
That’s a win-win.
Now keep winning more.
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– ArmaniTalks 
