3 TRICKS on How to Improve Emotional Intelligence
Logically knowing something is important.
But only factoring in logic is idiotic.
There are certain questions, behaviors & actions that logic cannot answer.
It’s important to be holistic.
Leverage logic & emotions.
Emotions are energy + perception.
We may not always be able to control our energy.
But we can always control the perception.
The ability to control our perception is the staple of emotional intelligence.
I like the phrase energy intelligence better.
This is when we make the mind & body friends, rather than enemies.
In this article, I’m going to give you 3 practical ways on how to improve emotional intelligence.
Before I do that, I want to you understand the value of what you’re about to learn.
The Importance of Emotional Intelligence
A few years ago, I was the vice president of my Toastmasters club.
This is a global public speaking club that helps all walks of life improve their communication skills.
I couldn’t believe that I was the vice president of my club.
‘Why not?’
Because a few years earlier, I had massive speech anxiety.
When I say massive, I mean it.
I’d lose sleep in the weeks that I had a speech coming up.
My mouth would be dry.
And I felt lethargic.
So now as the vice president (the person who was responsible for getting the message of Toastmasters out there), I knew EXACTLY how to relate to new guests who struggled with speech anxiety.
There was 1 member who seemed like the dictionary definition of a great speaker.
He was a lawyer, easy to speak to, and funny guy.
However, when he got called on stage to do Table Topics (1–2-minute impromptu speech), something happened.
‘What??’
He froze…
Didn’t end up saying a word.
After our meeting was done, he couldn’t put into words what happened.
It’s like he logically knew all the words he wanted to say.
But his body was not allowing him to say it!
That’s when I shared the concept of working with emotions.
It doesn’t matter how well you logically know something if you’re scared shitless.
During moments of terror, that’s when the importance of energy management starts to click.
Till then, you cannot internalize it.
I wanted to share the story because you never know when you will be unexpectedly put in a moment of terror.
No one knows beforehand.
So it’s smart to prepare early.
Since you now understand the value, let’s learn some tips on how to improve emotional intelligence.
1. Big Body or No Body
There are body language superpowers you can use to build more emotional intelligence.
Learn how your body works to the tee.
See how your body moves when you’re sad.
Happy.
Confused etc.
Are you jumpy around certain people?
Do you walk with purpose or slow as fuck?
‘Why do I need to read my body for?’
Because when you read your body, you read your emotions.
Body language is the expression of your emotions.
The more you understand it, the more you create a remote controller for your emotions.
This allows you to learn how to improve emotional intelligence.
I noticed when I’m nervous, I touch my neck a lot and make myself small.
When I became AWARE that I did that, I decided to do the exact opposite.
- Rather than touch my neck, I put my hands to the side.
- Rather than make my body small, I made it big.
Learn to read your body and see how it works so you can make adjustments as needed.
2. Embrace Different World Views
‘Should I start a random argument with someone?’
No, that’s not what I mean.
Just know that you are just a speck of sand in the sea of life.
A person who lacks emotional intelligence has an inflated ego.
They think they are the sea.
The ego is tricky.
I do not believe it should be killed.
I believe it should be tamed.
When it’s inflated, it gives an illusion of power and a certainty of fear.
Inflated egos make you grasp for control. The more you want to control everything, the further you program the mind to be fearful.
Someone with a strong ego is terrified of a moment where they are disrespected in public. They entertain this thought a lot.
This fear happens because they want power.
Warm yourself up early to be open to different world views.
It can be something as simple as watching content from a creator that you vehemently disagree with.
Try to see where others are coming from more often.
3. Willingly Invite Problems
Here’s a life irony.
The further you run away from problems, the more problems you face.
You can take this literally or figuratively.
In a literal sense, the irony implies that nature is wired for us to face problems.
It’s not a matter of “if”. It’s a matter of “when.”
The figurative part of the irony is that the mind needs an enemy. That’s the ego that we were talking about earlier.
Let’s say you lock yourself in a room by yourself for 2 years.
No problem then, right?
Wrong.
Now you will get the narrative mind saying:
‘Wow, look at you. What a loser! You lack guts. Who stays in their room for 2 years?’
Problems.
The cheat code is to willingly invite some sort of problems.
We are looking for problems that help us grow.
I’ll give you an example.
I willingly took off a screw on the left side of the chair that I use when recording my YouTube videos.
This unbalances my body and makes it difficult for me to breathe as I record my videos.
‘Why the hell would you do something like that?’
Because by unbalancing myself, I introduce a stressor.
This allows my body to realign & improve my breathing patterns under duress.
Even though this was a SMALL problem, that’s not the point.
The point was that I WILLINGLY introduced a problem.
This changes my PERCEPTION regarding problems in a micro sense.
What did I say emotions were?
‘Uh….’
It’s energy plus perception.
We may not always be able to control the energy that we are feeling.
But we can always control our perception.
Even if it’s by increments.
Bonus Tip: Turn Feelings into Words
I want to give you a bonus tip since you made it this far.
This is probably the most important.
‘Then why didn’t you make it number 1??’
Because I reward people who invest in my content. Rather than the skimmers.
Turn your feelings into words.
Keep practicing that.
It’s immature to just say:
‘I feel happy, mad, sad, etc.’
That type of surface-level thinking makes you emotionally unintelligent.
Get in the habit of articulating EXACTLY how you feel.
I capitalized exactly because I want you to get super-specific.
I used to do this exercise with people who were nervous before they had to give a speech.
At first, they’d be like:
‘I’m terrified.’
Then I told them to keep on talking.
That’s when they’d be like:
‘I don’t know Armani. Yes, I’m terrified. But a part of me is feeling grateful. I’m honored that my friend asked me, out of all people, to give his best man’s speech. I guess I just want to do a good job so bad that I have been putting more pressure on myself. But I’m not even the star of the show haha. He is! Him and his wife are the stars for the night. I’m just an extra. You know what? I feel calm again.’
Look at how well he articulated his feeling.
The range of emotions he felt included:
- Terrified, grateful, humorous, brave.
You can do the same.
Adding nuance to your emotions is called emotional literacy.
Learn How to Improve Emotional Intelligence ASAP
When you can expect something, that’s when you become fearless.
The goal of emotional intelligence is to become fearless.
I’m a big fan of logic.
However, I am perfectly aware that logic alone will not cut it.
And I refuse to be a 1-sided thinker.
I embrace the entire spectrum.
Because I must…
Anyone who is leveling up in their life must level up their entire spectrum.
Control your perception so you can control your energy.
Control your energy so you can become fearless.
Emotional Intelligence is one of the subjects that the Armani Archives Bundle covers.
This Bundle is a collection of insights & short stories that teach you how to improve your soft skills.
You will learn how to:
- Improve your confidence & self-image.
- Build clear thinking.
- Articulate your feelings to become tougher.
The Armani Archives Bundle is normally 150$.
However, if you access it from this link, you can get it for only 45$.
Grab your copy & level up!
👇👇
